I never dreamed
Someone from my past
Feelings redeemed
So much time has passed
I kept up with her
We would always be friends
She would concurr
Our friendship transcends
We have reconnected
Both being single
We have redirected
For us to mingle
She watched me sail
Commenting along the way
I called her instead of email
Just not any comminique
We talked for hours
Just about everything
She must have superpowers
She was so addicting
We communicated frequently
Four or five times a day
I enjoyed her evidently
Because she was so gay
She was brilliant
She was happy
She was exciting
She was captivating
I wanted more
I wanted that energy
I wanted to explore
I wanted synergy
I asked her out
And she agreed
What a rout
I decreed
Too smooth
Too slick
Too easy
Too sleek
We were so agreeable
I was flabbergasted
Our future is unforeseeable
And it was not forecasted
Now a new journey
Where will we go
A magnificent tourney
Only God will know
Tag: hope
Hope and Expectations
Dare I raise my hope Or raise my expectations Set me up to be a dope How about the flirtations Do I expect her to realize We are made for each other And I am better than most guys Why do I want to bother To beg her forgiveness To seek her approval To deduce her restiveness To change her disproval Push her to decide To spend time with me Is it mine and her pride Which is the key Or is it stupidity To keep on hoping When she demonstrates lividity And I am just coping I miss our time together She says the same How can we tether Our mutual claim Leave her alone Live your life She has a phone No more strife Strife in myself Strife in her actions Strife in our childness Strife in the whole thing I know we would have fun We are so good just us Why does it have to be done What is the real fuss I do not know Questioning her decision Creating a senseless row A gigantic collision She is in control So let her go And make some goals Just go with the flow Not your best suit To play it by ear It might be the best route Learn to be a seer Able to visualize What decisions are best There may be a prize If I passed the test No matter what My life will be less But not in a rut Just some distress So what is it Hope that is confused Expectations that fit Reconciliation refused Or is it craziness To let it rule Making me melancholy So stop being a fool
Change
I need a change To make me whole Why exchange My current role I am not appreciated I am a man child I am depressed and deflated I am forgotten in exile I have an opinion I keep to myself Just a tiny minion Not being myself I need to stand up But then I am immature And we breakup And there is no cure I can walk away What does it prove To exit the fray As my opening move But this is hard I am weak going to ground Getting lonely and scared Growing lifeless and down Will I miss my buddy Just waiting and moping Way too hard and bloody Just hoping I wish it could be A life with her I have made my plea She does not concur Instead of pouting And being blue Your life needs rerouting To make it through Concentrate on me Setting new priorities I am single and free With no authorities I am off my medication Planning to travel Not a vacation Just to unravel My mind and thoughts Through reading and writing Connecting the dots And keep on fighting Fighting for what is right Which can be a debate Not worth the bite I am not a piece of bait I am not a fish or insect I am a strong man I stand erect I need a plan Get my health straight And create multiple verses Remove dead weight Solve any reverses What needs to shift To execute your plan Become a spendthrift And a bad food ban Walk even if it hurts A health goal And do not chase skirts So you keep control Do not be in a rush Solve all concerns Work through the slush And reap the returns The goodwill produced Relations restored I will get a needed boost Along with a great reward My plan will be ready To shift my gaze And to be steady Through this new phase
Adore
Adore What is adore How do we get there Not a story of lore But let me share Starts as a nightingale A crush on a caregiver A common tale To someone who can deliver Smart Girl worked hard To analyze me Another patient on her dance card She is my significant key She found I walk funny She sent me to a specialist She was so sunny She was excellent I found her smart I found her pretty I found her a piece of art I found her witty Yes they fixed my pain My leg quit hurting Adverting the ball and chain Now my interest was flirting I asked her out Once or twice A difficult route But worth the price Took weeks and weeks To win her over Through valleys and peaks She was a rover A single mother She has medical challenges No men and does not want another Just wants to keep her life in balance I was not deterred I was smitten I was stirred I needed to fit in I met her needs Little acts of kindness Many small deeds Growing our fondness We talked and talked We played and played We shared and shared We gave and gave Life took off We lived mightily Enjoying life from a trough We were a family We ate dinner together We walked the dog We attended school events We went on trips She improved my condition Reducing my stress Eliminating my strange emission Making my symptoms much less Our lives proceeded For a long period of time Warning signs were unheeded We had reached our prime She had to choose Old life or new Two different views Which one is true I did not help Wanting my way All ended in a yelp And a fray I was frustrated She was smothered All issues debated She was mothered She was safe She was secure She was loved She was dandy No reason to change No reason to move No reason to exchange No reason to improve Our lives deteriorated Too hard to maintain I was patient and waited Living through the strain Talk and talk Going to transform Waiting out the clock And get through the storm I needed her She nurtured me I wanted her She understood me But it was not to be Our love did not last We lost our glee Our lives were in the past No new memories No new adventures No new experiences No new experiments My heart was broken I was incredibly sad She had spoken Again a nomad On my own Living life Life alone No community strife Just circumstances Circumstances of anxiousness Circumstances of nervousness Circumstances of restiveness This went on for a while A routine of existence Peaceful in exile Not much resistance The text came For us to unite Back in the game Everything alright We had not changed Back to our truths Nothing rearranged Back to our youths Playing ball Going to pool Watching movies Holding hands We had missed some days We had not seen each other We had made it through the haze We had ended the pother Smart Girl found a disorder Sounding like my quirks Almost like a hoarder Of crazy weird works I was diagnosed with it How exciting and fresh But it fit I keep my pound of flesh No death sentence How grand Learn tools of repentance Tools to manage my land Land of coziness Land of familiarity Land of closeness Land of comradeliness Journey back to the word Adore worship admire Love esteem honor preferred My heart on fire Unexpectantly Our lives interrupted Our future and destiny Everything disrupted Disrupted our utopia Where do we go Entering dystopia We will not grow Back to the same place A prison of sorts Not our own space Our life distorts Too many chiefs Too many frustrations Too many rules Too many debates We are a couple It is up to us Not very supple Just more fuss Hard enough with one But two or three Along with intentional shun We will not be free I want to respect I want to admire I want to cherish I want to honor I want to get along I want to go with the flow I want to be strong I want to be in the show But it has to be her and me Our lives and decisions We must unify and agree To enjoy our visions I gave up hope Thinking it was done Walking the tightrope No life in the long run She had made her choice Months ago I heard her voice I was useless cargo I was expendable I was a throwaway I was undefendable I was a cliche Moody Crazy Unstable Wacky Yes it is correct I am not perfect Last time I checked But then she picked She picked love She picked romance She picked affection She picked one to kiss She likes our playfulness She likes our secureness She likes our tenderness She likes our togetherness Adore is here In all its glory Shout and hear Our great story We have fun And laugh We have joy And happiness Adore is a journey A road to travel A grand tourney Let us not unravel
Checklist
Checklist I have had one forever Once it is on the list A grand endeavor Not to be missed Get it done Can be transposable Not always fun Quick as possible Which one first Which one second Which one makes a difference Which one is important From A1 to C1 A ranking tactic Works in the long run Way too didactic How did I get consumed By this need to check it off Too much to do I assumed Me and my mighty trough A trough of obsession A trough of greed A trough of pride A trough of ambition But where am I now Chasing a disorder Nothing but a sow Who is out of order I must throw the list away Does not matter to me Who cares if I stray And become carefree I have been told Does it matter In the past it was gold Today dung splatter I have changed To get relief Not to be deranged But to reduce my grief Go away systematic rules To accomplish tasks These are just tools Anxiety and depression masks Masks of fatigue Masks of rages Masks of technique Masks of past ages Take mine down Get rid of it I want to stay around And keep my wit