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Barometric Pressure Nightmare

This is my latest book. It is personal. I suffer greatly when the barometric pressure drops.

When the atmospheric pressure drops, it influences my body. The swollen tissue presses against my joints, making them very painful and difficult to move. My arthritis in the ankle and right and left legs from knee and hip replacements and my eleven blood clots make it even worse when the barometric pressure changes. Blood flow is reduced due to constricted veins, which result in dizziness and confusion. When this happens, I become lethargic, not wanting to talk or socialize. This leads to me becoming grumpy and gruff.

Barometric Pressure Nightmare

My Old Friend

I missed you
My good friend
We can share a pew
And transcend

Transcend my feelings
My feelings of obscurity
In all routine dealings
Reducing my security

Fall left to right
Shift backwards
The sun so bright
Unable to say words

Where do you hide
In the summertime
Where do you reside
Rushing back time after time

To disrupt my life
Bewitching me
Causing such strife
Not letting me flee

Fleeing the troubles
Fleeing the nuisance
Fleeing the intangibles
Fleeing the assurance

Assurances of stability
Assurances of normality
Assurances of survivability
Assurances of congeniality

I become tired
I become annoyed
I become angered
I become destroyed

Hard to accept
This reoccurring crap
Not well kept
In this sinister trap

Trap of denial
Trap of betrayal
Trap of carnal
Trap of abnormal

This is not just
Give me relief
Can you adjust
And reduce your grief

You must
No other choice
Or you will rust
And lose your voice

Stay steady
Bulk up
Reduce your anxiety
Accept your cup

My Heart

 My heart hurts
 Was it love
 Or too many desserts
 Or God from above
  
 Does it matter
 Why I cannot take a breath
 My heart goes pitter patter
 Along the path to my death
  
 How did I get here
 After exercising too much
 Did I cause too much wear
 Or is this a crutch
  
 Did I eat the wrong food
 Mostly salads and meat
 Pizza when in the mood
 Along with something sweet
  
 Ice cream and cake
 Cookie dough with glaze
 Maybe a shake
 I did graze
  
 Food or exercise
 The doctors do not know
 I wonder if they are wise
 Or trying to collect dough
  
 Test after test
 What do they show
 Nothing in my chest
 Maye my heart flow
  
 More tests and protocols
 To see if my veins are clear
 Just wait for our calls
 And keep a good cheer
  
 Sometimes it is hard
 To be enthusiastic
 When you cannot walk the yard
 Or anything too drastic
  
 I cannot breathe when I piss
 I cannot breathe climbing up the stairs
 I cannot breathe to walk the block
 I cannot breathe playing in the pool
    
 These are not drastic actions
 And it is very tough
 No to have reactions
 When I cannot get a puff of air
  
 I walked 10000 steps daily
 I lifted weights daily
 I used the elliptical for 30 minutes daily
 I performed yoga every two days
  
 What happened to me
 Will it go away
 Can they fix this stuff
 Or keep it at bay
  
 I do wonder
 Can it be fixed
 Or do I go under
 My thoughts are mixed
  
 Issues upon issues
 Troubles upon troubles
 Stress upon stress
 Anxiety upon anxiety
  
 Thinking can be worse
 Worrying for naught
 Or is this a curse
 And I got caught
  
 Or is it a side effect
 Of a Covid shot
 Is there a connect
 Throwing it all in the pot
  
 Heart inflammation
 They do say
 Maybe a causation
 To take me astray
  
 My shot in late March
 My condition sometime in April
 Is there a connecting arch
 Or is this gossip or a fable 

Just Write

colorful toothed wheels
Photo by Digital Buggu on Pexels.com
No more mind drug
No more captivity
No more a slug
No more inactivity
 
I can think and write
There are ideas and activity
My mind is clear and bright
I have vision and creativity
 
What satisfaction
A few words in print
My words have interaction
Now I am on a sprint
 
Create a poem every day
For long as it lasts
And a long time I pray
But there are no hard forecasts
 
Maybe restart my novel
It is all in my head
I will not fall apart and grovel
Just forge ahead
 
I am optimistic about my ability
I know what I want to generate
I have so many possibilities
I have to accept my fate
 
Just create a rhyme
And let them grow
Let the words climb
Creating a sweet flow

Tools to Help me Live

I have struggled for years, and I have searched for tools to help me live better. I want tools to help me learn what triggers my symptoms and how to reset the triggers as quickly as possible.

I have had ongoing issues for years, and no physical defects can be found beyond repaired damage to knee and hips along with blood clots. I have fallen backward; my neck hurts, my head hurts, my eyes get stressed, my head goes blank, my body wobbles, and many other little nuisances. No one has given me solutions to these issues except to drug me up and to make me into a zombie. I don’t particularly appreciate living this way. If anything, this lifestyle drives anxiety and depression, which activates, compounds, and exaggerated my issues.

The diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) opens new avenues to explore, including Cognitive behavior Theory and Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I am exploring these two tools, and I am seeking counselors to help me learn these tools and to apply them to my life.

Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is based on several core principles, including:

1. Psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking.

2. Psychological problems are based, in part, on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior.

3. People suffering from psychological problems can learn better ways of coping with them, thereby relieving their symptoms and becoming more effective in their lives.

https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral#

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Its main goals are to teach people how to live in the moment, develop healthy ways to cope with stress, regulate their emotions, and improve their relationships with others.

https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402#citation-1

The Linehan Institute Behavioral Tech. What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? 2017.

I plan to write more about my journey, trying to understand these tools and how they are working to make my life better. I will add posts about other tools that I use to help, including breathing exercises, writing, exercising, and yoga—also, a post here and there about God and his provision for me. These tools and exercises do not compete with God. To me, they are the fruit of God’s existence.

I hope they may help you if you have sprouts of anxiety or depression.

Have any of you had any experiences with CBT or DBT? Did it help?