Barometric Pressure As the pressure drops Like a stone from a tower My health flops By each minute and hour I lock up Slowing down Drinking my death cup I flounder and drown Unable to function Unable to comprehend Unable to function Unable to live A robotic zombie Floating along Unstable and wonky This is my song A song of lostness A song of worthlessness A song of smallness A song of nervousness How long will this go on This morbid journey Until my symptoms are gone And I am back in lifes tourney Functioning normal Thinking and talking Not feeling abnormal Functioning and walking Living a normal life A life of normality No continuous strife Just a life of vitality Once again I am patient and await The barometric train To steam forward reducing its weight Arriving at my station Which it always does Creating a new period of gestation And my symptoms fizz I walk and wake from my stupor As the train passes Slowly reducing my stooper Not slow and thick as molasses But normal and bright Clear headed My symptoms in flight Completely broken and shredded Back in the living Where life is good Another season of thanksgiving Living as I should
Category: Triggers
Barometric Pressure Nightmare
This is my latest book. It is personal. I suffer greatly when the barometric pressure drops.
When the atmospheric pressure drops, it influences my body. The swollen tissue presses against my joints, making them very painful and difficult to move. My arthritis in the ankle and right and left legs from knee and hip replacements and my eleven blood clots make it even worse when the barometric pressure changes. Blood flow is reduced due to constricted veins, which result in dizziness and confusion. When this happens, I become lethargic, not wanting to talk or socialize. This leads to me becoming grumpy and gruff.
Barometric Pressure Nightmare
My Old Friend
I missed you
My good friend
We can share a pew
And transcend
Transcend my feelings
My feelings of obscurity
In all routine dealings
Reducing my security
Fall left to right
Shift backwards
The sun so bright
Unable to say words
Where do you hide
In the summertime
Where do you reside
Rushing back time after time
To disrupt my life
Bewitching me
Causing such strife
Not letting me flee
Fleeing the troubles
Fleeing the nuisance
Fleeing the intangibles
Fleeing the assurance
Assurances of stability
Assurances of normality
Assurances of survivability
Assurances of congeniality
I become tired
I become annoyed
I become angered
I become destroyed
Hard to accept
This reoccurring crap
Not well kept
In this sinister trap
Trap of denial
Trap of betrayal
Trap of carnal
Trap of abnormal
This is not just
Give me relief
Can you adjust
And reduce your grief
You must
No other choice
Or you will rust
And lose your voice
Stay steady
Bulk up
Reduce your anxiety
Accept your cup
Tools to Help me Live
I have struggled for years, and I have searched for tools to help me live better. I want tools to help me learn what triggers my symptoms and how to reset the triggers as quickly as possible.
I have had ongoing issues for years, and no physical defects can be found beyond repaired damage to knee and hips along with blood clots. I have fallen backward; my neck hurts, my head hurts, my eyes get stressed, my head goes blank, my body wobbles, and many other little nuisances. No one has given me solutions to these issues except to drug me up and to make me into a zombie. I don’t particularly appreciate living this way. If anything, this lifestyle drives anxiety and depression, which activates, compounds, and exaggerated my issues.
The diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) opens new avenues to explore, including Cognitive behavior Theory and Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I am exploring these two tools, and I am seeking counselors to help me learn these tools and to apply them to my life.
Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is based on several core principles, including:
1. Psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking.
2. Psychological problems are based, in part, on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior.
3. People suffering from psychological problems can learn better ways of coping with them, thereby relieving their symptoms and becoming more effective in their lives.
https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral#
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Its main goals are to teach people how to live in the moment, develop healthy ways to cope with stress, regulate their emotions, and improve their relationships with others.
https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402#citation-1
The Linehan Institute Behavioral Tech. What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? 2017.
I plan to write more about my journey, trying to understand these tools and how they are working to make my life better. I will add posts about other tools that I use to help, including breathing exercises, writing, exercising, and yoga—also, a post here and there about God and his provision for me. These tools and exercises do not compete with God. To me, they are the fruit of God’s existence.
I hope they may help you if you have sprouts of anxiety or depression.
Have any of you had any experiences with CBT or DBT? Did it help?
Amitriptyline
Amitriptyline
Wow! Amitriptyline has reduced my symptoms by 99 percent. Good news, but the bad news it has diminished my ability to write, read, and concentrate by 100 percent. I am sleeping ten hours per day, and I am drugged up 3 hours per day. What a trade-off. Do you accept very few if any symptoms with limited to no reading and writing, or do you accept symptoms all day every day, but you can read and write?
On Amitriptyline, I am not falling backward, losing words, closing my eyes, wobbling left to right, less edgy, or unable to think, concentrate, or execute. I am more tolerable with fewer outbursts of emotions—definitely pluses and minuses there. I appear normal, just slower. I am not able to read, write, or read and perform plans like simple instructions. I am sleeping for eight to ten hours until eight in the morning, and I am drugged up 2 to 3 hours. I am very slow, and I do not have as much energy. I have not walked since I took medicine. I have no desire to walk. On Amitriptyline, I am not me. I am someone else.
I stopped taking Amitriptyline to see what would happen three days ago. Today, I can read, write, and I read directions on how to set up an SUV Tent. I am sleeping six to eight hours getting up at six in the morning feeling alive and not drugged up. I want to walk, and I did walk this morning. I wrote three simple blogs about COVID-19, camping, and Amitriptyline. I am edgier but excited about life. I am very enthusiastic about life. At the same time, all my symptoms have returned – falling backward, wobbling, neck hurting, closing eyes, overwhelmed, lost words, cannot express myself, and underattack at times where I can not think or concentrate. These attacks last a few minutes and go away. I am less able to control my filters and to contain myself. This is important to try to live with people and to be sociable.
I will have to decide. What kind of life do I want to live? What will be my quality of life? What type of relationships do I want to have since Amitirptyline makes a difference in my emotional temperament?
I am sharing this because I have realized that people go through so many things in their lives that you may never know or understand. How one drug can change your life for the better but make you into someone who you are not or who you may not want to be.
I want prayers to make the right decisions on how to pursue my life. My problems are not life-threatening or a death sentence—a considerable inconvenience to living life normally. Do I change my personality on the drug to eliminate my unusual symptoms or live the best I can with the symptoms and keep being me?
Leave me a prayer or give me some feedback.