Shift
Left to right
Forward and back
Dark to bright
Run to tack
There are many ways to go
And I must change
Do not go with the flow
I must turn the page
Leave Jackson
Do not be shocked
Viking or saxon
Not land locked
A new journey
Sailing away
Leaving absurdity
A new sunset everyday
My intent
My want
My plan
My desire
At sixty not too late
To transition
A new journey and fate
A grand ambition
But wait
Who is this girl
That I went on a date
Her hair has so much curl
I am smitten
By her beauty and enthusiasm
Maybe sailing is not written
She has to be an addendum
My plan b has crumpled
Moving to plan c
My arrogance humbled
I now can see
I want her in my life
And she makes me laugh
With no crazy strife
I want to be her better half
In this moment
In this time
In this minute
In this space
I will pursue her
Wanting to know if she is real
Not some imaginary blur
And my feelings are real
Sailing will be there
But I can not let this pass
I am chasing that wild hair
And this charming lass
There is so much opportunity
There is so much promise
There is so much compassion
There is so much expectation
Go all in
Do not miss the chance
I can only laugh and grin
A sailboat can not kiss or dance
Tag: Birmingham
I Never Dreamed
I never dreamed
Someone from my past
Feelings redeemed
So much time has passed
I kept up with her
We would always be friends
She would concurr
Our friendship transcends
We have reconnected
Both being single
We have redirected
For us to mingle
She watched me sail
Commenting along the way
I called her instead of email
Just not any comminique
We talked for hours
Just about everything
She must have superpowers
She was so addicting
We communicated frequently
Four or five times a day
I enjoyed her evidently
Because she was so gay
She was brilliant
She was happy
She was exciting
She was captivating
I wanted more
I wanted that energy
I wanted to explore
I wanted synergy
I asked her out
And she agreed
What a rout
I decreed
Too smooth
Too slick
Too easy
Too sleek
We were so agreeable
I was flabbergasted
Our future is unforeseeable
And it was not forecasted
Now a new journey
Where will we go
A magnificent tourney
Only God will know
Listen, Can you hear the sound of death? Grim Reaper chasing me!
Uplifting Poems About the Death of a Loved One
Autobiography
My autobiography of poetry over the last fifty-eight years. Ha ha ha! I laugh too. I am a businessman who is retired, and he is trying to stay busy. I have no real talent at writing any type of writing except Quality Assurance Programs, Business Plans, Bible Study Notes, Business Price Quotes, Business Memos, Loan Requests, Consulting Reports, and all things business.
Journey of My Life
Uplifting Poems About the Death of a Loved One is a journey of my life, especially in the last five years. I have struggled through medical issues for these five years, including depression and anxiety. I am challenged with the belief that I have a disease that is not diagnosed, and I am going to die. True or not true, that is what I believe. He first book of poems works up to this obsession with death. The book of poems ends with hope.
Medical History last Five Years
History 2020
All symptoms, and if anything, they are worse. They vary based upon all kinds of factors.
One trip to Mayo Clinic, and nothing has changed except new symptoms. All they can tell me is to wait for it to manifest itself. There are no more tests and no more doctors. Thank the number one hospital in the world. Five visits are enough.
New Symptoms 2020
- My brain locks up, and I can not talk. I know what I want to say, but it will not come out of my mouth. I am down 3 to 5 minutes, and then it comes out of me.
- I cannot walk and do two things. If I am walking and I try to stir the soup or something on a plate or count something, then I fall left to the right, stop moving forward, and cannot talk. I can move backward then stop doing everything and reset. I can then walk forward.
History 2019
I quit going to doctors in 2019. After 48 doctors for so many things, I am sick of doctors, and I quit going after Mayo Clinic and Vanderbilt appointments at the first of the year. They used the exact same words – You need to wait for it to manifest itself. These issues persist:
- Feet hurt, numb, and tingle
- Hands hurt, numb and tingle
- Neck hurts
- Dizzy
- Foggy
- Forgetful
- Slow
- Shy away from bright lights
- Falling backward or sideways
- Unable to announce words, maybe stutter
I have quit chasing the cause of these, and I am just trying to live with them now. I have done an excellent job with reduced symptoms all of 2019 and in the months of August and September, especially. In those months, I had almost no symptoms at all.
I want to go on a new medicine which will cut the edge. I do not know if I have stress or anxiety. When I am off amitriptyline, I am more emotional. I rush to agitation, and frustration is quicker. The anger is not rage but similar without yelling and screaming. Well, George does not think this is a correct statement anymore. My friend and I talked about it being more adrenaline rushes. I am getting pumped up for something. I do not know what?
- Jan to Dec– Everything occurs under many different combinations and circumstances
- Feb – Joint Specialist
- Jan – Blood Clots – hematologist – stay on the blood thinner
- Jan -Vein Specialist – nothing to do with four blood clots. The leg will swell and hurt
History 2018
Mayo and Patterson Physical Therapy ( Beth Patterson and Cynthia Thomson) in Jackson, Tennessee, worked on these my knee, calf, and hip, and the majority of the pain have gone away. A combination of shoe orthotics, lost weight, exercise, yoga, and more expensive tennis shoes. I do not consider this a significant issue, just a nuisance.
I went to Mayo Clinic 4 times, and they eliminated all significant organs, diseases, etc. as possible candidates. They believe I have to wait for it to manifest itself into one block for a diagnosis. They took me off amitriptyline and put me on Lexapro – anxiety medicine, but that made my symptoms worse. I got off Lexapro. I went back on amitriptyline until Dec 2019.
I have seen 15 doctors over the past few years for a variety of issues, and I am trying to eliminate problems to find the root cause so I can feel better. All of these sometimes happen all the time, and sometimes one or two at a time. But it is something every day.
- Knee hurts
- Hip Hurts
- Calf Hurts
- Feet hurt, numb, and tingle
- Hands hurt, numb and tingle
- Neck hurts
- Dizzy, foggy, forgetful, slow, overwhelmed in crowds, shy away from bright lights
- Right foot swells
- Right leg knee down swells
History 2017
- Jan to June – Everything occurs under many different combinations and circumstances
- July – A blood clot in the right leg. Leg stayed swollen for five months
- Oct – Lost breath climbing stairs for two weeks went away
- Nov – diagnosed Factor 5 … gene disorder causes blood to clot
- Dec – MRI to recheck neck and spine – can not find out why lost use of right arm from the elbow down fishing
2016 – Continue to have knee and hip pain but all new issues too
- Jan – MS Specialist Vanderbilt – not MS go to a neurologist
- Feb – Neurologist Vanderbilt – MRI’s neck brain and spine show no damage or suspensions
- Feb to Dec – Everything occurs under many different combinations and circumstances
History 2015
Knee and hip continue to hurt all year
- Sept – I felt like I had a heart attack on a Saturday, but it went away after 1 hour. I did not go to the doctor. Thought it was vertigo.
- Dec – Neurologist – neuropathy in hands and feet.
- Sept to Dec – New issues of hand, feet, and neck pain. Dizziness, falling backward sensation, overwhelming in crowds, fuzzy, hazy
- Jackson Doctor sends me to Vanderbilt
History 2014
- Two Hip Surgeries – I slipped on ice in Jan, and one surgery to sew it up. The second surgery to replace it.
- Blood Clot – I had a blood clot after hip replacement
History 2013
Knee replacement. I had a hard time bending it, and it had to be manipulated once. I finally got it to bend and was getting stronger
Pre – 2013
Three knee surgeries, shoulder surgery, ankle surgery
I have always had problems with my right knee since the age of 15.
Conrad’s Mini-Book will be free on Sunday