Dare I raise my hope Or raise my expectations Set me up to be a dope How about the flirtations Do I expect her to realize We are made for each other And I am better than most guys Why do I want to bother To beg her forgiveness To seek her approval To deduce her restiveness To change her disproval Push her to decide To spend time with me Is it mine and her pride Which is the key Or is it stupidity To keep on hoping When she demonstrates lividity And I am just coping I miss our time together She says the same How can we tether Our mutual claim Leave her alone Live your life She has a phone No more strife Strife in myself Strife in her actions Strife in our childness Strife in the whole thing I know we would have fun We are so good just us Why does it have to be done What is the real fuss I do not know Questioning her decision Creating a senseless row A gigantic collision She is in control So let her go And make some goals Just go with the flow Not your best suit To play it by ear It might be the best route Learn to be a seer Able to visualize What decisions are best There may be a prize If I passed the test No matter what My life will be less But not in a rut Just some distress So what is it Hope that is confused Expectations that fit Reconciliation refused Or is it craziness To let it rule Making me melancholy So stop being a fool
Category: Love
Change
I need a change To make me whole Why exchange My current role I am not appreciated I am a man child I am depressed and deflated I am forgotten in exile I have an opinion I keep to myself Just a tiny minion Not being myself I need to stand up But then I am immature And we breakup And there is no cure I can walk away What does it prove To exit the fray As my opening move But this is hard I am weak going to ground Getting lonely and scared Growing lifeless and down Will I miss my buddy Just waiting and moping Way too hard and bloody Just hoping I wish it could be A life with her I have made my plea She does not concur Instead of pouting And being blue Your life needs rerouting To make it through Concentrate on me Setting new priorities I am single and free With no authorities I am off my medication Planning to travel Not a vacation Just to unravel My mind and thoughts Through reading and writing Connecting the dots And keep on fighting Fighting for what is right Which can be a debate Not worth the bite I am not a piece of bait I am not a fish or insect I am a strong man I stand erect I need a plan Get my health straight And create multiple verses Remove dead weight Solve any reverses What needs to shift To execute your plan Become a spendthrift And a bad food ban Walk even if it hurts A health goal And do not chase skirts So you keep control Do not be in a rush Solve all concerns Work through the slush And reap the returns The goodwill produced Relations restored I will get a needed boost Along with a great reward My plan will be ready To shift my gaze And to be steady Through this new phase
My Heart
My heart hurts Was it love Or too many desserts Or God from above Does it matter Why I cannot take a breath My heart goes pitter patter Along the path to my death How did I get here After exercising too much Did I cause too much wear Or is this a crutch Did I eat the wrong food Mostly salads and meat Pizza when in the mood Along with something sweet Ice cream and cake Cookie dough with glaze Maybe a shake I did graze Food or exercise The doctors do not know I wonder if they are wise Or trying to collect dough Test after test What do they show Nothing in my chest Maye my heart flow More tests and protocols To see if my veins are clear Just wait for our calls And keep a good cheer Sometimes it is hard To be enthusiastic When you cannot walk the yard Or anything too drastic I cannot breathe when I piss I cannot breathe climbing up the stairs I cannot breathe to walk the block I cannot breathe playing in the pool These are not drastic actions And it is very tough No to have reactions When I cannot get a puff of air I walked 10000 steps daily I lifted weights daily I used the elliptical for 30 minutes daily I performed yoga every two days What happened to me Will it go away Can they fix this stuff Or keep it at bay I do wonder Can it be fixed Or do I go under My thoughts are mixed Issues upon issues Troubles upon troubles Stress upon stress Anxiety upon anxiety Thinking can be worse Worrying for naught Or is this a curse And I got caught Or is it a side effect Of a Covid shot Is there a connect Throwing it all in the pot Heart inflammation They do say Maybe a causation To take me astray My shot in late March My condition sometime in April Is there a connecting arch Or is this gossip or a fable
Retreat and Rout
I make too many assumptions Which never work out Maybe mixed presumptions Ending in retreat and a rout Putting everything into one thing All my energy and emotions For a yearlong romantic fling Going through all the motions The regular dating routines And a few extra duties Including helping to clean Anything for my beauties I became a caregiver Helping out with carpools Even cleaning the silver Anything for my jewels I taught after school Doing weekly reading by committee Helping enforce the daily rules Anything for my pretties Little physical chores Picking up and putting up the plates Even cleaning out drawers Anything for my playmates But in the long run It does not matter All is undone A gigantic shatter We break apart Because there is no solution The same problem from the start A matter of the heart Not really love Honor and cherish More push and shove Close to nightmarish Warning signs are there I was a dope Our relationship not fair A sense of false hope Hope for a friend Hope for a companion Hope for a sweetheart Hope for love I wanted it too much I would do anything For someone to touch For a body to cling Not her fault I made the choice Not to halt And use my voice To communicate My feelings Accepting my fate In all my dealings Be honest and straight Stick to the facts Open the floodgate And brace for the impacts Ready to walk away Be courageous and strong Do not waver and sway If it is wrong Too petrified and afraid To face reality Disheartened and dismayed To fight and disagree Who wants confrontation And to dissension Leading to castration And no more attention But sooner or later All will come to an end Bowing to a dictator Instead of being a friend Friends listen Do not judge Or create divisions Stonewall without a budge Who am I talking to But only to me I cannot change a view From another who is free
My Dance
I did not respect my health Keep track of my friends Sharpen and expand my mind Or appreciating my wealth Do I have remorse Concerning all these thoughts A strange force Bothering me a lot Why do they bother me now I have lived a long time Will it change somehow My story rhyme The pace my life progresses In a repetitive motion Failures and successes Indifferences and emotions Up and down Round and round A priest or a clown Mute or with sound What I have learned Is I can fight it But I will get burned Or use my wit Learn the dance Forward and back Retreat and advance Seek peace and attack Dancing is easy Moving to the beat Not at all cheesy Beautiful when expressed The dance presents understanding And maturity Your emotional health is expanding Giving you security Security to be yourself Security to let someone go Security to be alone Security to be alright Alright is not hard Or overrated You can lower your guard Throw away things hated Why walk on eggshells Every step of the way Jump at each bell To keep the family gay Wait to be invited Like a waiting taxicab Feel judged and indicted A jab or a stab Sounds very frightening But all I wish Is emotional enlightening And to dance with a swish Twirl about Skip to the tune These things have no clout I am immune I dance with charming traits Knowing I am good And so much awaits Without any falsehoods Taken for granted Highlighting my faults Their beliefs are slanted But I will waltz To their reverberations And their misrepresentations Dancing on my foundations Forgetting the frustrations My dance is divine To and foe And it is all mine The ebb and flow The coming and going Enjoying the song That rhythm flowing I have grown strong