I need a change
To make me whole
Why exchange
My current role
I am not appreciated
I am a man child
I am depressed and deflated
I am forgotten in exile
I have an opinion
I keep to myself
Just a tiny minion
Not being myself
I need to stand up
But then I am immature
And we breakup
And there is no cure
I can walk away
What does it prove
To exit the fray
As my opening move
But this is hard
I am weak going to ground
Getting lonely and scared
Growing lifeless and down
Will I miss my buddy
Just waiting and moping
Way too hard and bloody
Just hoping
I wish it could be
A life with her
I have made my plea
She does not concur
Instead of pouting
And being blue
Your life needs rerouting
To make it through
Concentrate on me
Setting new priorities
I am single and free
With no authorities
I am off my medication
Planning to travel
Not a vacation
Just to unravel
My mind and thoughts
Through reading and writing
Connecting the dots
And keep on fighting
Fighting for what is right
Which can be a debate
Not worth the bite
I am not a piece of bait
I am not a fish or insect
I am a strong man
I stand erect
I need a plan
Get my health straight
And create multiple verses
Remove dead weight
Solve any reverses
What needs to shift
To execute your plan
Become a spendthrift
And a bad food ban
Walk even if it hurts
A health goal
And do not chase skirts
So you keep control
Do not be in a rush
Solve all concerns
Work through the slush
And reap the returns
The goodwill produced
Relations restored
I will get a needed boost
Along with a great reward
My plan will be ready
To shift my gaze
And to be steady
Through this new phase
My heart hurts
Was it love
Or too many desserts
Or God from above
Does it matter
Why I cannot take a breath
My heart goes pitter patter
Along the path to my death
How did I get here
After exercising too much
Did I cause too much wear
Or is this a crutch
Did I eat the wrong food
Mostly salads and meat
Pizza when in the mood
Along with something sweet
Ice cream and cake
Cookie dough with glaze
Maybe a shake
I did graze
Food or exercise
The doctors do not know
I wonder if they are wise
Or trying to collect dough
Test after test
What do they show
Nothing in my chest
Maye my heart flow
More tests and protocols
To see if my veins are clear
Just wait for our calls
And keep a good cheer
Sometimes it is hard
To be enthusiastic
When you cannot walk the yard
Or anything too drastic
I cannot breathe when I piss
I cannot breathe climbing up the stairs
I cannot breathe to walk the block
I cannot breathe playing in the pool
These are not drastic actions
And it is very tough
No to have reactions
When I cannot get a puff of air
I walked 10000 steps daily
I lifted weights daily
I used the elliptical for 30 minutes daily
I performed yoga every two days
What happened to me
Will it go away
Can they fix this stuff
Or keep it at bay
I do wonder
Can it be fixed
Or do I go under
My thoughts are mixed
Issues upon issues
Troubles upon troubles
Stress upon stress
Anxiety upon anxiety
Thinking can be worse
Worrying for naught
Or is this a curse
And I got caught
Or is it a side effect
Of a Covid shot
Is there a connect
Throwing it all in the pot
Heart inflammation
They do say
Maybe a causation
To take me astray
My shot in late March
My condition sometime in April
Is there a connecting arch
Or is this gossip or a fable
I did not respect my health
Keep track of my friends
Sharpen and expand my mind
Or appreciating my wealth
Do I have remorse
Concerning all these thoughts
A strange force
Bothering me a lot
Why do they bother me now
I have lived a long time
Will it change somehow
My story rhyme
The pace my life progresses
In a repetitive motion
Failures and successes
Indifferences and emotions
Up and down
Round and round
A priest or a clown
Mute or with sound
What I have learned
Is I can fight it
But I will get burned
Or use my wit
Learn the dance
Forward and back
Retreat and advance
Seek peace and attack
Dancing is easy
Moving to the beat
Not at all cheesy
Beautiful when expressed
The dance presents understanding
And maturity
Your emotional health is expanding
Giving you security
Security to be yourself
Security to let someone go
Security to be alone
Security to be alright
Alright is not hard
Or overrated
You can lower your guard
Throw away things hated
Why walk on eggshells
Every step of the way
Jump at each bell
To keep the family gay
Wait to be invited
Like a waiting taxicab
Feel judged and indicted
A jab or a stab
Sounds very frightening
But all I wish
Is emotional enlightening
And to dance with a swish
Twirl about
Skip to the tune
These things have no clout
I am immune
I dance with charming traits
Knowing I am good
And so much awaits
Without any falsehoods
Taken for granted
Highlighting my faults
Their beliefs are slanted
But I will waltz
To their reverberations
And their misrepresentations
Dancing on my foundations
Forgetting the frustrations
My dance is divine
To and foe
And it is all mine
The ebb and flow
The coming and going
Enjoying the song
That rhythm flowing
I have grown strong
Why do I grieve
Gave it my all
Rewarded with a reprieve
To stand alone and tall
Reprieve from stress
Walking on eggshells
A game of chess
With no wedding bells
More money
To spend everyday
Milk and honey
Spend it my way
Travel the world
Sights to see
Twirl and whirl
I am free
Drugless
My mind works
I must confess
These are perks
Write my rhyming verse
Create and produce thought
I have beaten the curse
No more brain rot
Not drugged dumb
As a mindless ghoul
I have overcome
The ceaseless drool
But is it all that great
To have all this
Without a mate
To hug and kiss
This is why I mourn
I have lost my buddy
Our love torn
My heart muddy
I am so conflicted
So many upsides
I am unrestricted
But a ferocious tide
So may extremes
A passionate obsession
I had so many dreams
And a confession
I miss her
She was unique
A sweet liqueur
An aura of mystique
There will be no one like her
No one to replace our fun
I miss being her chauffeur
But we are done
She sees no need
For a sidekick
Independent and freed
She is her own chick
And this is life
Not very equitable and fair
Without a wonderful wife
And a journey to share
A treacherous fate
To be alone
Which I do hate
Nearing my gravestone
No reason to seek
Another to share
I am past my peak
Along with my wear and tear
Enjoy the positives
And all their good yields
Eliminate the negatives
And their battlefields
Slow down
Stay true
Do not frown
Or turn blue
The easiest way to enjoy
What time is unexpended
Be good and a kind boy
As God intended
Adore
What is adore
How do we get there
Not a story of lore
But let me share
Starts as a nightingale
A crush on a caregiver
A common tale
To someone who can deliver
Smart Girl worked hard
To analyze me
Another patient on her dance card
She is my significant key
She found I walk funny
She sent me to a specialist
She was so sunny
She was excellent
I found her smart
I found her pretty
I found her a piece of art
I found her witty
Yes they fixed my pain
My leg quit hurting
Adverting the ball and chain
Now my interest was flirting
I asked her out
Once or twice
A difficult route
But worth the price
Took weeks and weeks
To win her over
Through valleys and peaks
She was a rover
A single mother
She has medical challenges
No men and does not want another
Just wants to keep her life in balance
I was not deterred
I was smitten
I was stirred
I needed to fit in
I met her needs
Little acts of kindness
Many small deeds
Growing our fondness
We talked and talked
We played and played
We shared and shared
We gave and gave
Life took off
We lived mightily
Enjoying life from a trough
We were a family
We ate dinner together
We walked the dog
We attended school events
We went on trips
She improved my condition
Reducing my stress
Eliminating my strange emission
Making my symptoms much less
Our lives proceeded
For a long period of time
Warning signs were unheeded
We had reached our prime
She had to choose
Old life or new
Two different views
Which one is true
I did not help
Wanting my way
All ended in a yelp
And a fray
I was frustrated
She was smothered
All issues debated
She was mothered
She was safe
She was secure
She was loved
She was dandy
No reason to change
No reason to move
No reason to exchange
No reason to improve
Our lives deteriorated
Too hard to maintain
I was patient and waited
Living through the strain
Talk and talk
Going to transform
Waiting out the clock
And get through the storm
I needed her
She nurtured me
I wanted her
She understood me
But it was not to be
Our love did not last
We lost our glee
Our lives were in the past
No new memories
No new adventures
No new experiences
No new experiments
My heart was broken
I was incredibly sad
She had spoken
Again a nomad
On my own
Living life
Life alone
No community strife
Just circumstances
Circumstances of anxiousness
Circumstances of nervousness
Circumstances of restiveness
This went on for a while
A routine of existence
Peaceful in exile
Not much resistance
The text came
For us to unite
Back in the game
Everything alright
We had not changed
Back to our truths
Nothing rearranged
Back to our youths
Playing ball
Going to pool
Watching movies
Holding hands
We had missed some days
We had not seen each other
We had made it through the haze
We had ended the pother
Smart Girl found a disorder
Sounding like my quirks
Almost like a hoarder
Of crazy weird works
I was diagnosed with it
How exciting and fresh
But it fit
I keep my pound of flesh
No death sentence
How grand
Learn tools of repentance
Tools to manage my land
Land of coziness
Land of familiarity
Land of closeness
Land of comradeliness
Journey back to the word
Adore worship admire
Love esteem honor preferred
My heart on fire
Unexpectantly
Our lives interrupted
Our future and destiny
Everything disrupted
Disrupted our utopia
Where do we go
Entering dystopia
We will not grow
Back to the same place
A prison of sorts
Not our own space
Our life distorts
Too many chiefs
Too many frustrations
Too many rules
Too many debates
We are a couple
It is up to us
Not very supple
Just more fuss
Hard enough with one
But two or three
Along with intentional shun
We will not be free
I want to respect
I want to admire
I want to cherish
I want to honor
I want to get along
I want to go with the flow
I want to be strong
I want to be in the show
But it has to be her and me
Our lives and decisions
We must unify and agree
To enjoy our visions
I gave up hope
Thinking it was done
Walking the tightrope
No life in the long run
She had made her choice
Months ago
I heard her voice
I was useless cargo
I was expendable
I was a throwaway
I was undefendable
I was a cliche
Moody
Crazy
Unstable
Wacky
Yes it is correct
I am not perfect
Last time I checked
But then she picked
She picked love
She picked romance
She picked affection
She picked one to kiss
She likes our playfulness
She likes our secureness
She likes our tenderness
She likes our togetherness
Adore is here
In all its glory
Shout and hear
Our great story
We have fun
And laugh
We have joy
And happiness
Adore is a journey
A road to travel
A grand tourney
Let us not unravel
