I heard this word a bunch with Dr. Andrews. I knew what it meant, but I needed to make sure that I understood what Dr. Andrews was talking about in regards to my disorder – Functional Neurological Disorder (FND).
According to the Learners Dictionary, over stimulation is to cause (someone or something) to become too active or excited: to stimulate (someone or something) too much.
What was overstimulating for me? Really, there are so many things which can cause me to get active or excited:
Pretty Girl (Smart Girl)
Smart Girl’s child
Playing with children
Laughter
My kids
Good book
Bicycling
Yoga
Playing in pool
Going to beach
Good sermon
Share the gospel
Checklist
Meet new people
Concerts
Yardwork
Work
Running a business
Accomplishment
Life
Travel
The list can go on and on, but the definition mentions “too” or “too much.” Do all these things over stimulate me?
I have always been excitable and active. I could handle many things at one time. I could juggle many activities. I liked to move, to do, to progress, to succeed, and to accomplish. I had a checklist, and I wanted to check things off my list. I felt good when I make that checkmark
Once again, checking a checklist is not going to make me so overstimulated that I can not function, or I lose control. Or can it?
According to Dr. Andrews, it is not the checklist; it is the activities or the consequences of overdoing the activities. If I do too much, then it can overstimulate me and shut me down, especially if I am fatigued or experiencing slight episodes of the disorder. My triggers can activate, and they can be much worse.
What triggers FND?
Fatigue
Stress
Complicated problems
Doing too many things at one time
Work to long
Work too hard
Unreal expectations
Unsolvable problems
Irritants
Controversy
Pain
Illness
Disagreements
Arguments
What over stimulants trigger me?
Sunlight
Pain
Disagreements
Complicated Instructions
Tired
Stress – mental, physical, emotional
Negotiations
Complicated and long verbal conversations
Long-drawn out stories
Overindulge in exercise or work
Unnecessary questions
Lies
Selective memories
Illogical jibberish
How do you live in society if these things overstimulate you where you shut down or go into a rage?
Learn triggers
Reduce triggers
Avoid triggers
Simplify life
Get plenty of sleep
Stop doing too much
Learn how to rest triggers
Quit judging
Learn CBT
Learn DBT
Be grateful
Get back on Amitriptyline which has worked the best over last six years
Yes, I think some of what I write is redundant. I need to get a better grip on what is happening to me and how I need to proceed.
Does anyone know who teaches Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? West Tennessee, Memphis, or Nashville?
People in Your LifePeople come and goPart of our lifeAnd it is soSome through strifeHarder for someTo keep it togetherAlways so dumbBad or fair weatherPridefulArrogantSelfishBelligerentTo name a fewBut more to ask forIf you care to viewHere are moreLife circumstancesLife traumasLife illnessesLife mysteriesAll kinds of reasonsTo be a jerkIn all seasonsTo go berserkHow you actIs how you are framedTry to use tactOr you get blamedYou cannot hideFor exceptionally longSooner or later you slideYou are not that strongTo keep it at bayTo keep it hiddenTo keep it suppressedTo keep it smotheredUseless effortTry to isolateTo be betterIs one traitForce others awaySo be by yourselfNo one to playJust pictures on the shelfA lonely crutchTo protect your outburstsPeople are too muchThese are not unique firstsSocial distancingEndless therapyCountless medicinesRetreats and asylumsDoctors galorePsychobabbleWhat a boreGood for the rabbleBut the worse casesMust be dumbed downSee it in their facesThe emotionless frownsPump them with drugsTo make them acceptableNo longer thugsAlmost respectableThey might be slowThey might droolThey might be lazyThey might be dimBut they are tamedThey can be presentedAnd beautifully framedSat in the corner ornamentedI do not want to be dampenedI do not want to be unnoticedI do not want to be a simpletonI do not want to be devaluedBut to live in peaceTo live with immunityTo live it must ceaseTo live in unityCease the angerCease the explosionCease the banterCease the implosionMake a choiceOr stay in a caveAnd listen to your own voiceAnd be your own slave
As I celebrate this Independence Day, I realize that the original colonies felt persecuted. Today, persecution exists in many manners and forms. No one has an exclusive right to claim persecution because it happens all over the world depending on who has the power. As Christians and United States citizens we have greater responsibility and accountability to address the injustices of our world. Happy Fourth of July! Remember how we got here and why!
Persecution
Persecution is hostility
Persecution is ill treatment
Persecution is unfair treatment
Persecution is abusive treatment
Any act of ill will
Can be persecution
Sometimes a bitter pill
No real solution
Majority or minority
Whatever color
No authority or absolute authority
Few dollars or bunch of dollars
Atheism or Christian
Does not matter
This is not fiction
Never ending chapter
People will hate
People will control
People will attack
People will kill
This is our story
Story of humanity
Journey of fury
And depravity
Christians are oppressed
In many ways
This is not a test
For it happens nowadays
Christians are called names
Christians are beaten
Christians are rejected
Christians are murdered
I live in the USA
Things are not like that here
Maybe not today
But listen and rehear
Bad News
2 Timothy 3:12 (ESV) 12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
1 John 3:13 (ESV) 13 Do not be surprised, brothers,[a] that the world hates you.
Good News
1 Peter 3:14 (ESV) 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,
Matthew 5:10 (ESV) 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
But not in my United States
Not in my USA city
Not with my friends and mates
Not in my church committee
We are called by Christ
To be one body
Not cut and sliced
And not inferior or shoddy
One body as a whole
Caring for one another
Where I take a stroll
Or miles from my sister and brother
A Christian persecuted in Louisiana
A Christian persecuted in St Louis
A Christian persecuted in Facebook
A Christian persecuted in the World
All the same to our Lord
And it should be the same to us
We are on the same game board
Some castled in blissful snugness
Snugness from the action
Snugness from the abuses
Snugness from murderous fractions
Snugness from the bruises
The Bible is clear
We are part of the One
So shed a heartfelt tear
For our Savior the Son
Do not end now
Do not forget
Do not isolate
Do not think your set
Jesus wants us to love
He wants us to get along
Not be under the thumb of
Those strong and wrong
Many are harmed
Not just us Christian Saints
Remember the abused
And their complaints
Black lives of import
And they have a point
Not useless chatter
An ugly wart
Muslims matter too
China restricts their birth pace
This is more than a few
Millions lost without a trace
Women are left behind
Why does their paycheck lag
And the world is blind
Do you have to nag
Nagged to get your issues addressed
Nagged to listen and learn
Nagged to help and invest
Nagged to make it your turn
It is our turn to be accountable
To use our capabilities
To be countable
To end these hostilities
Christians have a call
To address conflicts
No matter how small
And no quick fix
God wants us to help
God wants us to intervene
God wants us to have compassion
God wants us to act
Act in many ways
Donate your time
Donate your money
Donate your prayers
God wants you to know
God loves everyone
Christians must acknowledge
We are under the same sun
Scriptures for One Body
Romans 12:4 (ESV) 4 For as in one body we have many members,[a] and the members do not all have the same function,
1 Corinthians 10:17(ESV) 17 Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.
1 Corinthians 12:12 (ESV) One Body with Many Members 12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.
1 Corinthians 12:13 (ESV) 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves[a] or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.
1 Corinthians 12:14 (ESV) 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many.
Ephesians 2:16 (ESV) 16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.
Smart Girl has improved my life three times in the past two years. I am grateful for her help by reducing my anxiety, solving my leg pain issues, and identifying a possible explanation for my ongoing illness.
I recognize Smart Girl (Cynthia), and her daughter pulled me out of the pit of despair, allowing me to see there is hope, and there is a great deal of life to experience. They encouraged me to keep my journey going and do not give up. Cynthia and Elizabeth (EB) are the best friends anyone can ever possess. We experienced life together traveling many places, building sandcastles, attending an Arkansas football game, watching movies and cartoons, playing chess, building Legos, reading books, doing homework, eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, walking Sweetie Pie, taking and picking EB up to school and playing all types of sports including swimming, catching the ball, throwing the ball, swinging the bat, striking golf balls, shooting basketballs, rolling bowling balls, throwing darts, bicycling, walking, and laser tag. We had a great time, and I never thought I would experience life like that again. Thank you.
Smart Girl worked for Patterson Physical Therapy, and she identified and correcting the problems with my right leg. I went from constant step by step pain every minute of the day. My pain varied from hardly any pain to pain all the time. Patterson Physical Therapy identified my hip to heel ratio was out ten percent, and I was walking sideways. A few shoe inserts and I had instant pain relief. I want to thank them for solving the problem when many doctors, physical therapists, and chiropractors could not over five years. When you are not in constant pain, you can enjoy life, and you can experience it so much more.
In June 2020, Smart Girl presented Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) as a potential identification of my ongoing illness. No one has diagnosed me with this disorder, but it is a better option than PSP. When I read the information that she sent me, it described me perfectly. I did a blog about FNA.
I wrote this poem over a year ago, and it is in my book. I think very highly of Smart Girl, and I am publishing what she has done for me in my blog. I appreciate her dedication to my health. Thank you.
Smart Girl
I recognized your smart
And very astute
It grabbed my heart
And I started the pursuit
You are very pretty
So adorable
Witty
Certainly not ignorable
Your appearance is striking
Blue eyes mesmerizing
Gazing at you and never tiring
So so energizing
I did not know what to expect
Wondering if I could ask
Could we connect
It would be a mighty task
You have a daughter
Live with your parents
We are moving through white water
But you are not embarrassed
You do not text
Are very independent
What comes next
Certainly not dependence
A single mother
Living life
Facing challenges one after another
Needing a Swiss army knife
Sometimes overwhelmed
Sometimes quite well
Certainly compelled
Not to walk on eggshells
What do I see
What do I believe
Do not disagree
Or deceive
Celebrate she is special
Celebrate her resolve
Give her a medal
Watch her evolve
You are unique
A mystery
A good deal of mystique
But you have lived a real life history
So many illnesses
So many miseries
So many sicknesses
So many memories
It makes me seek you more
You are so strong
It could be a love affair
But more two friends traveling along
I like you
You are so fresh
How do I pursue
So we mesh
Patience is good
Do not smother
Wait, in all likelihood
We will find each other
Friends
Buddies
Our relationship will pay dividends
It will be very sunny
A warming experience
Soothing to our bones
Reducing the weariness
Eliminating the groans
It makes me smile
It makes me laugh
Worthwhile
I cannot wait for the next paragraph
Functional Neurological Disorder or Conversion Disorder
I have battled a health issue for six years with no diagnosis, just endless symptoms, and doctor visits. The symptoms are debilitating, but the worse part is they come and go like the wind. One minute I feel good and the next minute I feel awful. One-minute functioning and the next minute dysfunctioning. I minute normal and the next abnormal.
The doctor visits were intense. I saw over 45 doctors in the past six years. The doctors would talk to you and do all types of tests – brain tests, MRI’s, MRA”s inner ear tests, heart, lungs, knee and hip specialist, blood clot specialist, blood pressure, toxicology, EEG’s, EMG’s, anxiety exams, depression exams, etc. The doctors were from the best medical centers in the world – Mayo Clinic and Vanderbilt. They did not find anything wrong with me except anxiety and depression. All you need is a pill, and you will be better. The best line from the doctors was just wait until it manifests itself. Really, I am trying to live!
Of course, I am going to be anxious and depressed. Duh! I am falling backwards thousands of times and bless the Lord that I have hit the ground only ten times. I lose words, and I can not say what is on my mind. The sunlight shuts me down, making me retreat into myself. I close my eyes, and I cannot function. I fall left to right wobbling. These are daily occurrences. There are so many other symptoms that happen sporadically. I find it amusing the funny situations that I have experienced in the past six years.
For two years, the only disease that was close to my symptoms was Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP). This is an undiagnosed disease that eats away at you until you die. No one says you have it until the end when you cannot walk, talk, or eat. They autopsy you to see your tau proteins bunched up on your brain. Yes, you had PSP. Wow! How nice! My adamant supporter, Smart Girl did not think I had it because I was not getting weaker physically, and I did not have a Parkinsonian look, which is present in PSP. When this is the only disease that fits all your symptoms, it is hard not to latch on to this disease. Gosh, I want to put a name to it. I want to know what is wrong with me. I want to be in control. Control of what? PSP is a killer. PSP is an ugly death. PSP is not merciful. PSP is painful. PSP is torture.
Last week (June 2020), my adamant supporter or I call her Smart Girl located Functional Neurological Disorder. What is that? I have never heard of that disorder. I do not remember any doctor, including many neurologists, mention it to me. They never even suggested it was a possibility.
What is Functional Neurological Disorder?
Functional neurological disorder (FND) is a medical condition in which there is a problem with the functioning of the nervous system and how the brain and body sends and/or receives signals, rather than a structural disease process such as multiple sclerosis or stroke.
FND patients can experience a wide range and combination of symptoms that are physical, sensory and/or cognitive. The most common include:
Motor dysfunction • Functional limb weakness/paralysis • Functional movement disorders; including tremor, spasms (dystonia), jerky movements (myoclonus) and problems walking (gait disorder) • Functional speech symptoms; including whispering speech (dysphonia), slurred or stuttering speech
Sensory dysfunction • Functional sensory disturbance includes altered sensation; e.g. numbness, tingling or pain in the face, torso or limbs. This often occurs on one side of the body • Functional visual symptoms; including loss of vision or double vision
Episodes of altered awareness • Dissociative (non-epileptic) seizures, blackouts and faints: these symptoms can overlap and can look like epileptic seizures or faints (syncope)
Symptoms often fluctuate and may vary from day to day or be present all the time. Some patients with FND may experience substantial or even complete remission followed by sudden relapses of symptoms.
Other physical and psychological symptoms are commonly experienced by patients with FND but may not be present. These include: chronic pains, fatigue, sleep problems, memory symptoms, bowel and bladder symptoms, anxiety and depression.
Yes, I have many of those symptoms, and they come and go. Is this a real disorder or just a junk drawer for people who are messed up, but there is no diagnosis for me yet? I do not care. I rather think I have FND (live) versus PSP (die).
Is there a treatment?
Yes, I have new doctors to see and new treatments to try – CBT and ACT. I must be more self-aware of what triggers my symptoms. I must learn techniques to reset myself once symptoms start. My favorite is when I cannot pronounce words or get them out of my mouth then sing a song. I sing “Everyday with Jesus,” and then I can pronounce the word or get it out of my mouth. How wonderful is that! In one week, we have found one reset. How exciting. Now, I am looking for triggers to stop symptoms before they happen and for reset techniques to get me back to normal as soon as possible.
Praise
I praise God for the blessing in my life. In the past two weeks, God put Smart Girl in my life. She found this disorder, she made me aware of the disorder, and she helped me with the first symptom reset. Two, the Lord gave me hope and endurance. The Lord gave me the will to enjoy each day and to live. Thank you, God!
