fbpx

Category: Conrad

Over Stimulation

Over Stimulation

I heard this word a bunch with Dr. Andrews. I knew what it meant, but I needed to make sure that I understood what Dr. Andrews was talking about in regards to my disorder – Functional Neurological Disorder (FND).

According to the Learners Dictionary, over stimulation is to cause (someone or something) to become too active or excited: to stimulate (someone or something) too much.

What was overstimulating for me? Really, there are so many things which can cause me to get active or excited:

  • Pretty Girl (Smart Girl)
  • Smart Girl’s child
  • Playing with children
  • Laughter
  • My kids
  • Good book
  • Bicycling
  • Yoga
  • Playing in pool
  • Going to beach
  • Good sermon
  • Share the gospel
  • Checklist
  • Meet new people
  • Concerts
  • Yardwork
  • Work
  • Running a business
  • Accomplishment
  • Life
  • Travel

The list can go on and on, but the definition mentions “too” or “too much.” Do all these things over stimulate me?

I have always been excitable and active. I could handle many things at one time. I could juggle many activities. I liked to move, to do, to progress, to succeed, and to accomplish. I had a checklist, and I wanted to check things off my list. I felt  good when I make that checkmark

Once again, checking a checklist is not going to make me so overstimulated that I can not function, or I lose control. Or can it?

According to Dr. Andrews, it is not the checklist; it is the activities or the consequences of overdoing the activities. If I do too much, then it can overstimulate me and shut me down, especially if I am fatigued or experiencing slight episodes of the disorder. My triggers can activate, and they can be much worse.

What triggers FND?

  • Fatigue
  • Stress
  • Complicated problems
  • Doing too many things at one time
  • Work to long
  • Work too hard
  • Unreal expectations
  • Unsolvable problems
  • Irritants
  • Controversy
  • Pain
  • Illness
  • Disagreements
  • Arguments

What over stimulants trigger me?

  • Sunlight
  • Pain
  • Disagreements
  • Complicated Instructions
  • Tired
  • Stress – mental, physical, emotional
  • Negotiations
  • Complicated and long verbal conversations
  • Long-drawn out stories
  • Overindulge in exercise or work
  • Unnecessary questions
  • Lies
  • Selective memories
  • Illogical jibberish

How do you live in society if these things overstimulate you where you shut down or go into a rage?

  • Learn triggers
  • Reduce triggers
  • Avoid triggers
  • Simplify life
  • Get plenty of sleep
  • Stop doing too much
  • Learn how to rest triggers
  • Quit judging
  • Learn CBT
  • Learn DBT
  • Be grateful
  • Get back on Amitriptyline which has worked the best over last six years

Yes, I think some of what I write is redundant. I need to get a better grip on what is happening to me and how I need to proceed.

Does anyone know who teaches Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? West Tennessee, Memphis, or Nashville?

Functional Neurological Disorder

Functional Neurological Disorder

I was diagnosed with Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) on Wednesday on July 8th. According to National Organization for Rare Diseases, FND is a medical condition in which there is a problem with the functioning of the nervous system and how the brain and body sends and/or receives signals, rather than a structural disease process such as multiple sclerosis, Parkinson or stroke.” This disorder is an improvement over my self diagnosed diseases and disorders. I am happy that I have it than the other alternatives.

For six years, I have struggled with a many weird issues which came and went at random. These issues are unpredictable and debilitating. I struggled with the unknown. When no one tells you, what is wrong with you, then you begin to wander through the possibilities. I found and latched on to Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP) two years ago. I had 8 of 12 symptoms, and it was the only disease or disorder that described me. The doctors did not think I had it because I was too strong, but what were the alternatives? I sank into depression and anxiety.

I ran the gambit of possibilities. How long do I last? Will it be a painful death? Will I make it three years? Will I suffer? I did not believe the doctors who said you are too strong because they were not giving me any alternatives. These were no solutions; just wait until it manifests itself.

I did not want to wait until it manifests itself. I wanted answers now. Who wants to wait until it manifests itself, and then they say, “Oh, you had PSP sorry. Now, you will die in a year or 2.” To me, that was pure craziness!

A few weeks ago, Cynthia (Smart Girl) found Functional Neurological Disorder (FND), and we studied upon it on various websites. I got an appointment with a doctor in Little Rock who understood FND. I found him on FNDhope.org. I made an appointment with Dr. Andrews.

I visited Dr. Andrews on Wednesday, July 8th. Dr. Andrews and I talked for an hour. He says, yes, you have Functional Neurological Disorder, and Dr. Andrews believes my right leg trauma with knee replacement, hip surgery, and replacement and blood clots with the extreme pain made FND activate. I was delighted when he said you are too strong for PSP, and since Mayo and Vanderbilt have eliminated all possible physical symptoms, it has to be FND. I went from a disorder with a death sentence to a disorder you can learn to live with through training.

You must learn what triggers your disorder or attacks so you can react to the triggers better. Also, you need to learn how to reset the triggers to get back to normal as quickly as possible.
Here is a laundry list of things that I need to do to help myself:

• Keep exercising
• Keep doing yoga
• Keep eating a healthy diet
• Learn Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Learn Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
• Simplify your life
• Keep it simple
• Learn triggers
• Avoid triggers
• Minimize triggers
• Learn resets – stutter or unable to speak than sing a song and can not walk forwards then walk backwards
• Beware if you disliked something before disorder, then you hate it now.

Here are some examples of what I disliked before, and I now hate:

• I was not too fond of crowds, so crowds activate my symptoms.
• I did not like liars. Now, I hate liars.
• I did not like injustice? I despise injustice.
• I was intolerant of emotional hot-air rhetoric. I wouldn’t say I like rhetoric.
• I do not like drawn-out stories. Now, I have no patience for a long story.
• I do not enjoy genealogy (stuff with past). Wow, I guess it is a huge trigger.

These triggers can set me off to be rude, angry, or go to rage. Big problem!! I have always been feisty, argumentative, fiery, but it is a new uncontrollable level.

I have to learn to deactivate these triggers and not to let them bother me. I hope CBT and DBT give me the tools to do that.

Does anyone know any resets for triggers or a good list of reboots like singing a song for stutter and walk backwards to reset unable to step forward?

People in Your Life

People in Your Life
 
People come and go
Part of our life
And it is so
Some through strife
 
Harder for some
To keep it together
Always so dumb
Bad or fair weather
 
Prideful
Arrogant
Selfish
Belligerent
 
To name a few
But more to ask for
If you care to view
Here are more
 
Life circumstances
Life traumas
Life illnesses
Life mysteries
 
All kinds of reasons
To be a jerk
In all seasons
To go berserk
 
How you act
Is how you are framed
Try to use tact
Or you get blamed
 
You cannot hide
For exceptionally long
Sooner or later you slide
You are not that strong
 
To keep it at bay
To keep it hidden
To keep it suppressed
To keep it smothered
 
Useless effort
Try to isolate
To be better
Is one trait
 
Force others away
So be by yourself
No one to play
Just pictures on the shelf
 
A lonely crutch
To protect your outbursts
People are too much
These are not unique firsts
 
Social distancing
Endless therapy
Countless medicines
Retreats and asylums
 
Doctors galore
Psychobabble
What a bore
Good for the rabble
 
But the worse cases
Must be dumbed down
See it in their faces
The emotionless frowns
 
Pump them with drugs
To make them acceptable
No longer thugs
Almost respectable
 
They might be slow
They might drool
They might be lazy
They might be dim
 
But they are tamed
They can be presented
And beautifully framed
Sat in the corner ornamented
 
I do not want to be dampened
I do not want to be unnoticed
I do not want to be a simpleton
I do not want to be devalued
 
But to live in peace
To live with immunity
To live it must cease
To live in unity
 
Cease the anger
Cease the explosion
Cease the banter
Cease the implosion
 
Make a choice
Or stay in a cave
And listen to your own voice
And be your own slave

Persecution

As I celebrate this Independence Day, I realize that the original colonies felt persecuted. Today, persecution exists in many manners and forms. No one has an exclusive right to claim persecution because it happens all over the world depending on who has the power. As Christians and United States citizens we have greater responsibility and accountability to address the injustices of our world. Happy Fourth of July! Remember how we got here and why!

Persecution

Persecution is hostility
Persecution is ill treatment
Persecution is unfair treatment
Persecution is abusive treatment
 
Any act of ill will
Can be persecution
Sometimes a bitter pill
No real solution
 
Majority or minority
Whatever color
No authority or absolute authority
Few dollars or bunch of dollars
 
Atheism or Christian
Does not matter
This is not fiction
Never ending chapter
 
People will hate
People will control
People will attack
People will kill
 
This is our story
Story of humanity
Journey of fury
And depravity
 
Christians are oppressed
In many ways
This is not a test
For it happens nowadays
 
Christians are called names
Christians are beaten
Christians are rejected
Christians are murdered
 
I live in the USA
Things are not like that here
Maybe not today
But listen and rehear
 
Bad News
2 Timothy 3:12  (ESV) 12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
1 John 3:13  (ESV) 13 Do not be surprised, brothers,[a] that the world hates you.
 
Good News
1 Peter 3:14  (ESV) 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,
Matthew 5:10 (ESV) 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 
But not in my United States
Not in my USA city
Not with my friends and mates
Not in my church committee
 
We are called by Christ
To be one body
Not cut and sliced
And not inferior or shoddy
 
One body as a whole
Caring for one another
Where I take a stroll
Or miles from my sister and brother
 
A Christian persecuted in Louisiana
A Christian persecuted in St Louis
A Christian persecuted in Facebook
A Christian persecuted in the World
 
All the same to our Lord
And it should be the same to us
We are on the same game board
Some castled in blissful snugness
 
Snugness from the action
Snugness from the abuses
Snugness from murderous fractions
Snugness from the bruises
 
The Bible is clear
We are part of the One
So shed a heartfelt tear
For our Savior the Son
 
Do not end now
Do not forget
Do not isolate
Do not think your set
 
Jesus wants us to love
He wants us to get along
Not be under the thumb of
Those strong and wrong
 
Many are harmed
Not just us Christian Saints
Remember the abused
And their complaints
 
Black lives of import
And they have a point
Not useless chatter
An ugly wart
 
Muslims matter too
China restricts their birth pace
This is more than a few
Millions lost without a trace
 
Women are left behind
Why does their paycheck lag
And the world is blind
Do you have to nag
 
Nagged to get your issues addressed
Nagged to listen and learn
Nagged to help and invest
Nagged to make it your turn
 
It is our turn to be accountable
To use our capabilities
To be countable
 
To end these hostilities
 
Christians have a call
To address conflicts
No matter how small
And no quick fix
 
God wants us to help
God wants us to intervene
God wants us to have compassion
God wants us to act
 
Act in many ways
Donate your time
Donate your money
Donate your prayers
 
God wants you to know
God loves everyone
Christians must acknowledge
We are under the same sun
 
Scriptures for One Body
Romans 12:4 (ESV) 4 For as in one body we have many members,[a] and the members do not all have the same function,
 
1 Corinthians 10:17(ESV) 17 Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.
 
1 Corinthians 12:12  (ESV) One Body with Many Members 12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.
1 Corinthians 12:13 (ESV) 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves[a] or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.
1 Corinthians 12:14 (ESV) 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many.
Ephesians 2:16  (ESV) 16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

When Do You Live

Human Being at 20 Weeks
When Do You Live
 
I do not know
When you live
You must tiptoe
The issue to survive
 
Survive abuse
Survive intolerance
Survive hatred
Survive injustice
 
Kill a baby
Whenever you want
Alive maybe
All so nonchalant
 
Womans rights are first
No exceptions
What can be worse
Than ignorant misconceptions
 
When does life begin
Christians believe at conception
Science has many spins
And fixed perceptions
 
Is life when DNA completes at 3 days
Is life when the heart beats at 24 days
Is life when brain waves are recorded at 43 days
Is life when a baby can live outside the womb at 140 days
 
Or is life when a woman decides
I can abort my unique child
And the world ultimately divides
The world goes crazy wild
 
One side says control my life
Damn human life
One side says save every life
Precious human life
 
Who is responsible for human health
Is it each 3.8 billion women on the globe
Or is it the elected commonwealth
Or some unelected justice in a black robe
 
Every human being is responsible for these losses
You can not hide behind a lack of knowledge
You can not hide behind your crosses
You must reasonably acknowledge
 
At 20 weeks it can live outside the womb
Start here and make the laws the same
Bring everyone who cares in the room
And quit the shame and blame game