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Tag: Life

Feel

Feel
 
What does a baby feel
In the womb or newborn
Joy and pain are real
The debate is torn
 
Torn between alive or what
A newborn is alive
There is no but
It can live and strive
 
What about a fetus
In the womb
Do you have a treatise
Or do you leave the room
 
No regard for science
It is living
Against your defiance
Answers are missing
 
When does the heartbeat
Not months but weeks
Six weeks like a drumbeat
The heart speaks
 
When the heart stops
We are declared dead
The blood flow drops
And life has fled
 
If you are born
You are alive with heartbeats
But not if you are unborn
Who cares if it repeats
 
Then comes your nervous process
Developing soon after the heart starts
Reflexes begin to progress
And pain is its counterpart
 
Yes pain is present
In the womb
Many will dissent
But it is not your gloom or doom
 
Babies move away from the intruder
Babies shrink from the abortions tools
Babies jerk from the pursuer
Babies not understanding the rules
 
How about brain waves
The fetus starts around forty days
We are on our way to our graves
If our brains are not ablaze
 
What is life
A heartbeat
A nervous system
A brain wave
 
I want all three
Many will disagree
But they are free
To argue with me  

Family

Family
 
Do you enjoy
Your family
Or is it a ploy
Or an anomaly
 
A ploy to get money
A ploy to get affection
A ploy to be funny
A ploy for connection
 
A connection to what
A connection to who
A connection in my gut
A connection made of glue
 
Join us together
Fasten us to each other
A common tether
Mother or brother
 
Is this common
Is this normal
Is this unusual
Is this irregular
 
No it is not
For many to live
Relatives not forgot
Families to thrive
 
What is the common thread
Families to proceed
Is it the homestead
Or blood of a family creed
 
A creed to love
A creed to support
A creed to encourage
A creed to equally share
 
Generation to generation
Forgive one another
Give for the duration
Smother and smother
 
Smother with love
Smother with kindness
Smother with resources
Smother with mercy
 
Mercy is the hardest
When we feel wronged
But we can harness
By remembering we belonged
 
Belonged to a family line
Belonged to a congregation
Belonged to the vine
Belonged to a narration
 
A narration to work together
A narration to read
A narration to learn
A narration to believe
 
Believe in God
Believe in kin
Believe all are flawed
Believe we all sin
 
Sin is there
Every single day
Repent with prayer
Believe and pray
 
God is first
Family second
Our nation third
And there is no fourth
 
Align on one
Read the one
Learn the one
Worship the one
 
Forgive those in two
Love those in two
Show mercy to those in two
Share with those in two
 
Honor those in three
Respect those in three
Support those in three
Affirm those in three
 
Teach yours these
Time and time again
These are the keys
Our family will remain

Happy Birthday Again



Birthday Again
 
I have another birthday
One more year
Let us downplay
And save the cheer
 
I have had many good ones
I plan to have many more
I have eaten cake in tons
I have blown out candles galore
 
What is one more celebration
We all celebrate them
Like the stars in the constellation
Routine and another ho hum
 
But what if I say
I am kidding
I want the display
I am admitting
 
Display the cake
Display the cards
Display the presents
Display the smiles
 
Five or Fifty
I want the recognition
Really cool and nifty
Bring on the magician and musician
 
I am happy everyone remembered
This special ceremonial occasion
Another numbered and rendered
Extending my life equation
 
I am delighted my loves are here
Kissing and hugging me
And I want to hear
Happy Birthday sung with glee

Tools to Help me Live

I have struggled for years, and I have searched for tools to help me live better. I want tools to help me learn what triggers my symptoms and how to reset the triggers as quickly as possible.

I have had ongoing issues for years, and no physical defects can be found beyond repaired damage to knee and hips along with blood clots. I have fallen backward; my neck hurts, my head hurts, my eyes get stressed, my head goes blank, my body wobbles, and many other little nuisances. No one has given me solutions to these issues except to drug me up and to make me into a zombie. I don’t particularly appreciate living this way. If anything, this lifestyle drives anxiety and depression, which activates, compounds, and exaggerated my issues.

The diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) opens new avenues to explore, including Cognitive behavior Theory and Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I am exploring these two tools, and I am seeking counselors to help me learn these tools and to apply them to my life.

Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is based on several core principles, including:

1. Psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking.

2. Psychological problems are based, in part, on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior.

3. People suffering from psychological problems can learn better ways of coping with them, thereby relieving their symptoms and becoming more effective in their lives.

https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral#

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Its main goals are to teach people how to live in the moment, develop healthy ways to cope with stress, regulate their emotions, and improve their relationships with others.

https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402#citation-1

The Linehan Institute Behavioral Tech. What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? 2017.

I plan to write more about my journey, trying to understand these tools and how they are working to make my life better. I will add posts about other tools that I use to help, including breathing exercises, writing, exercising, and yoga—also, a post here and there about God and his provision for me. These tools and exercises do not compete with God. To me, they are the fruit of God’s existence.

I hope they may help you if you have sprouts of anxiety or depression.

Have any of you had any experiences with CBT or DBT? Did it help?

No Fun

Where has the fun gone?

Where has the fun gone this year? No football, no concerts, no shopping, and no movies. We sit at home, and we see a different life—a life of sitting on the computer arguing politics or religion, binge-watching television programs, eating more and more food. We get out for errands, but we do not get out to enjoy life.

I miss visiting town centers where you can hear music or wander into coffee shops, bookstores, thrift stores, or antique stores. I am scared to venture out into crowds or unknown places or crowds of any size. I am not afraid for me, but for my loved ones who have underlying conditions where they might not survive the COVID-19 virus. I do not want to be the one who drags the virus back to them because I am selfish.

I know there are things that I can do when I go out not to bring the virus back to my loved ones, and here are a few suggestions.

  1. Wear a mask. Yes and No? Does wearing a mask help? There is so much debate. I wear my mask everywhere I go including when I exercise. If you are going to exercise, then wearing a mask makes it harder to breathe, but it is making your body work harder. The point of the exercise is to work your body harder. Why not wear a mask and work your body harder?
  2. I stay away from crowds, especially people I do not know. I am not talking about social distancing but much more.  I shy away from groups of people. I do not get around crowds either walking around them or high tailing it through them as quickly as possible. I am not friendly, not trying to meet new people or create new friendships. I do not want prolonged conversations with people I do not know. I do not know how they act concerning protecting themselves from the virus. I do not want to take the risk.
  3. I stay away from friends and family members who do not protect themselves from the virus. They do not wear their masks; they go shopping and out to dinner, and they do not have loved ones who might be susceptible to COVID-19. I avoid these people because they are taking too many risks.

I have ventured to the beach, and I have done these three things, and it has reduced my risk and my anxiety. I do not want to be the guy who infected his family with the COVID-19 virus. Doing these three things has not increased my fun this year, but it has protected my loved ones and me.

I wonder what to do this fall with no concerts or football games? What are you doing to have fun this fall?