I never dreamed
Someone from my past
Feelings redeemed
So much time has passed
I kept up with her
We would always be friends
She would concurr
Our friendship transcends
We have reconnected
Both being single
We have redirected
For us to mingle
She watched me sail
Commenting along the way
I called her instead of email
Just not any comminique
We talked for hours
Just about everything
She must have superpowers
She was so addicting
We communicated frequently
Four or five times a day
I enjoyed her evidently
Because she was so gay
She was brilliant
She was happy
She was exciting
She was captivating
I wanted more
I wanted that energy
I wanted to explore
I wanted synergy
I asked her out
And she agreed
What a rout
I decreed
Too smooth
Too slick
Too easy
Too sleek
We were so agreeable
I was flabbergasted
Our future is unforeseeable
And it was not forecasted
Now a new journey
Where will we go
A magnificent tourney
Only God will know
Tag: God
I am Back on Social Media
Need to Promote My Writing
I have started writing again. I am no longer on my medicine, and I have written a second book of poetry.
https://amzn.to/3kPQZL4
I hope you enjoy my poems. Here is one I wrote the other day:
I Do Not Know
I do not know
I do not understand
I do not accept the status quo
I do not make demands
Lost and alone
Lost and needy
Lost in groans
Very greedy
Selfish
Hurtful
Jealous
Ungrateful
I search
I chase
In church
In your face
I am not fair
I am not emphatic
Not that I do not care
Not to cause static
My every intention
Is to be loved
Not an intervention
Or to be shoved
But in goodwill
Honest and true
Neither a windmill
Nor a zoo
Help me Lord
Settle down
Not with a sword
Or to shutdown
Honest retrospect
Heartfelt transmission
Giving respect
Honest admission
Of my faults
Of my weaknesses
Of my assaults
To my Jesus
Let me bow
Let me repent
Worship thou
End my torment
Restore my heart
According to your will
I need a fresh start
Make my path downhill
Easy to travel
Easy to see
Less prone to unravel
With a skeleton key
Unlock the doors
Make my way
On all fours
So I can pray
Heavenly Father
Forgive me
Bless my sister
Hear my plea
Hear
In Jesus name
My sins disappear
Without shame
I am new
Today everyday
No blame
Without decay
Holy Spirit
Filled
Explicit
Old life killed
Written by: Conrad Birmingham
Tools to Help me Live
I have struggled for years, and I have searched for tools to help me live better. I want tools to help me learn what triggers my symptoms and how to reset the triggers as quickly as possible.
I have had ongoing issues for years, and no physical defects can be found beyond repaired damage to knee and hips along with blood clots. I have fallen backward; my neck hurts, my head hurts, my eyes get stressed, my head goes blank, my body wobbles, and many other little nuisances. No one has given me solutions to these issues except to drug me up and to make me into a zombie. I don’t particularly appreciate living this way. If anything, this lifestyle drives anxiety and depression, which activates, compounds, and exaggerated my issues.
The diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) opens new avenues to explore, including Cognitive behavior Theory and Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I am exploring these two tools, and I am seeking counselors to help me learn these tools and to apply them to my life.
Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is based on several core principles, including:
1. Psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking.
2. Psychological problems are based, in part, on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior.
3. People suffering from psychological problems can learn better ways of coping with them, thereby relieving their symptoms and becoming more effective in their lives.
https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral#
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Its main goals are to teach people how to live in the moment, develop healthy ways to cope with stress, regulate their emotions, and improve their relationships with others.
https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402#citation-1
The Linehan Institute Behavioral Tech. What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? 2017.
I plan to write more about my journey, trying to understand these tools and how they are working to make my life better. I will add posts about other tools that I use to help, including breathing exercises, writing, exercising, and yoga—also, a post here and there about God and his provision for me. These tools and exercises do not compete with God. To me, they are the fruit of God’s existence.
I hope they may help you if you have sprouts of anxiety or depression.
Have any of you had any experiences with CBT or DBT? Did it help?
Persecution
As I celebrate this Independence Day, I realize that the original colonies felt persecuted. Today, persecution exists in many manners and forms. No one has an exclusive right to claim persecution because it happens all over the world depending on who has the power. As Christians and United States citizens we have greater responsibility and accountability to address the injustices of our world. Happy Fourth of July! Remember how we got here and why!
Persecution Persecution is hostility Persecution is ill treatment Persecution is unfair treatment Persecution is abusive treatment Any act of ill will Can be persecution Sometimes a bitter pill No real solution Majority or minority Whatever color No authority or absolute authority Few dollars or bunch of dollars Atheism or Christian Does not matter This is not fiction Never ending chapter People will hate People will control People will attack People will kill This is our story Story of humanity Journey of fury And depravity Christians are oppressed In many ways This is not a test For it happens nowadays Christians are called names Christians are beaten Christians are rejected Christians are murdered I live in the USA Things are not like that here Maybe not today But listen and rehear Bad News 2 Timothy 3:12 (ESV) 12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 1 John 3:13 (ESV) 13 Do not be surprised, brothers,[a] that the world hates you. Good News 1 Peter 3:14 (ESV) 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, Matthew 5:10 (ESV) 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. But not in my United States Not in my USA city Not with my friends and mates Not in my church committee We are called by Christ To be one body Not cut and sliced And not inferior or shoddy One body as a whole Caring for one another Where I take a stroll Or miles from my sister and brother A Christian persecuted in Louisiana A Christian persecuted in St Louis A Christian persecuted in Facebook A Christian persecuted in the World All the same to our Lord And it should be the same to us We are on the same game board Some castled in blissful snugness Snugness from the action Snugness from the abuses Snugness from murderous fractions Snugness from the bruises The Bible is clear We are part of the One So shed a heartfelt tear For our Savior the Son Do not end now Do not forget Do not isolate Do not think your set Jesus wants us to love He wants us to get along Not be under the thumb of Those strong and wrong Many are harmed Not just us Christian Saints Remember the abused And their complaints Black lives of import And they have a point Not useless chatter An ugly wart Muslims matter too China restricts their birth pace This is more than a few Millions lost without a trace Women are left behind Why does their paycheck lag And the world is blind Do you have to nag Nagged to get your issues addressed Nagged to listen and learn Nagged to help and invest Nagged to make it your turn It is our turn to be accountable To use our capabilities To be countable To end these hostilities Christians have a call To address conflicts No matter how small And no quick fix God wants us to help God wants us to intervene God wants us to have compassion God wants us to act Act in many ways Donate your time Donate your money Donate your prayers God wants you to know God loves everyone Christians must acknowledge We are under the same sun Scriptures for One Body Romans 12:4 (ESV) 4 For as in one body we have many members,[a] and the members do not all have the same function, 1 Corinthians 10:17(ESV) 17 Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread. 1 Corinthians 12:12 (ESV) One Body with Many Members 12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 1 Corinthians 12:13 (ESV) 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves[a] or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. 1 Corinthians 12:14 (ESV) 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. Ephesians 2:16 (ESV) 16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.
Good Reads – Uplifting Poems About the Death of a Loved One: Listen Do You Hear the Sound of Death? The Grim Reaper is Chasing me!
If you want to see what makes me tick then get my book. You may need to hang on because it is a trip. A trip of despair, anxiety, and depression. My book of poetry has a happy ending! For now!
Goodreads Book Giveaway
Uplifting Poems About the Death of a Loved One
by Conrad Birmingham
Giveaway ends June 09, 2020.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.