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Amitriptyline

Amitriptyline

Wow! Amitriptyline has reduced my symptoms by 99 percent. Good news, but the bad news it has diminished my ability to write, read, and concentrate by 100 percent. I am sleeping ten hours per day, and I am drugged up 3 hours per day. What a trade-off. Do you accept very few if any symptoms with limited to no reading and writing, or do you accept symptoms all day every day, but you can read and write?

bunch of white oval medication tablets and white medication capsules

On Amitriptyline, I am not falling backward, losing words, closing my eyes, wobbling left to right, less edgy, or unable to think, concentrate, or execute. I am more tolerable with fewer outbursts of emotions—definitely pluses and minuses there. I appear normal, just slower. I am not able to read, write, or read and perform plans like simple instructions. I am sleeping for eight to ten hours until eight in the morning, and I am drugged up 2 to 3 hours. I am very slow, and I do not have as much energy. I have not walked since I took medicine. I have no desire to walk. On Amitriptyline, I am not me. I am someone else.

I stopped taking Amitriptyline to see what would happen three days ago. Today, I can read, write, and I read directions on how to set up an SUV Tent. I am sleeping six to eight hours getting up at six in the morning feeling alive and not drugged up. I want to walk, and I did walk this morning. I wrote three simple blogs about COVID-19, camping, and Amitriptyline. I am edgier but excited about life.  I am very enthusiastic about life. At the same time, all my symptoms have returned – falling backward, wobbling, neck hurting, closing eyes, overwhelmed, lost words, cannot express myself, and underattack at times where I can not think or concentrate. These attacks last a few minutes and go away. I am less able to control my filters and to contain myself. This is important to try to live with people and to be sociable.

I will have to decide. What kind of life do I want to live? What will be my quality of life? What type of relationships do I want to have since Amitirptyline makes a difference in my emotional temperament?

I am sharing this because I have realized that people go through so many things in their lives that you may never know or understand. How one drug can change your life for the better but make you into someone who you are not or who you may not want to be.

I want prayers to make the right decisions on how to pursue my life. My problems are not life-threatening or a death sentence—a considerable inconvenience to living life normally. Do I change my personality on the drug to eliminate my unusual symptoms or live the best I can with the symptoms and keep being me?

Leave me a prayer or give me some feedback.

People in Your Life

People in Your Life
 
People come and go
Part of our life
And it is so
Some through strife
 
Harder for some
To keep it together
Always so dumb
Bad or fair weather
 
Prideful
Arrogant
Selfish
Belligerent
 
To name a few
But more to ask for
If you care to view
Here are more
 
Life circumstances
Life traumas
Life illnesses
Life mysteries
 
All kinds of reasons
To be a jerk
In all seasons
To go berserk
 
How you act
Is how you are framed
Try to use tact
Or you get blamed
 
You cannot hide
For exceptionally long
Sooner or later you slide
You are not that strong
 
To keep it at bay
To keep it hidden
To keep it suppressed
To keep it smothered
 
Useless effort
Try to isolate
To be better
Is one trait
 
Force others away
So be by yourself
No one to play
Just pictures on the shelf
 
A lonely crutch
To protect your outbursts
People are too much
These are not unique firsts
 
Social distancing
Endless therapy
Countless medicines
Retreats and asylums
 
Doctors galore
Psychobabble
What a bore
Good for the rabble
 
But the worse cases
Must be dumbed down
See it in their faces
The emotionless frowns
 
Pump them with drugs
To make them acceptable
No longer thugs
Almost respectable
 
They might be slow
They might drool
They might be lazy
They might be dim
 
But they are tamed
They can be presented
And beautifully framed
Sat in the corner ornamented
 
I do not want to be dampened
I do not want to be unnoticed
I do not want to be a simpleton
I do not want to be devalued
 
But to live in peace
To live with immunity
To live it must cease
To live in unity
 
Cease the anger
Cease the explosion
Cease the banter
Cease the implosion
 
Make a choice
Or stay in a cave
And listen to your own voice
And be your own slave