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Category: Holy Spirit

Tools to Help me Live

I have struggled for years, and I have searched for tools to help me live better. I want tools to help me learn what triggers my symptoms and how to reset the triggers as quickly as possible.

I have had ongoing issues for years, and no physical defects can be found beyond repaired damage to knee and hips along with blood clots. I have fallen backward; my neck hurts, my head hurts, my eyes get stressed, my head goes blank, my body wobbles, and many other little nuisances. No one has given me solutions to these issues except to drug me up and to make me into a zombie. I don’t particularly appreciate living this way. If anything, this lifestyle drives anxiety and depression, which activates, compounds, and exaggerated my issues.

The diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) opens new avenues to explore, including Cognitive behavior Theory and Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I am exploring these two tools, and I am seeking counselors to help me learn these tools and to apply them to my life.

Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is based on several core principles, including:

1. Psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking.

2. Psychological problems are based, in part, on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior.

3. People suffering from psychological problems can learn better ways of coping with them, thereby relieving their symptoms and becoming more effective in their lives.

https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral#

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Its main goals are to teach people how to live in the moment, develop healthy ways to cope with stress, regulate their emotions, and improve their relationships with others.

https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402#citation-1

The Linehan Institute Behavioral Tech. What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? 2017.

I plan to write more about my journey, trying to understand these tools and how they are working to make my life better. I will add posts about other tools that I use to help, including breathing exercises, writing, exercising, and yoga—also, a post here and there about God and his provision for me. These tools and exercises do not compete with God. To me, they are the fruit of God’s existence.

I hope they may help you if you have sprouts of anxiety or depression.

Have any of you had any experiences with CBT or DBT? Did it help?

Amitriptyline

Amitriptyline

Wow! Amitriptyline has reduced my symptoms by 99 percent. Good news, but the bad news it has diminished my ability to write, read, and concentrate by 100 percent. I am sleeping ten hours per day, and I am drugged up 3 hours per day. What a trade-off. Do you accept very few if any symptoms with limited to no reading and writing, or do you accept symptoms all day every day, but you can read and write?

bunch of white oval medication tablets and white medication capsules

On Amitriptyline, I am not falling backward, losing words, closing my eyes, wobbling left to right, less edgy, or unable to think, concentrate, or execute. I am more tolerable with fewer outbursts of emotions—definitely pluses and minuses there. I appear normal, just slower. I am not able to read, write, or read and perform plans like simple instructions. I am sleeping for eight to ten hours until eight in the morning, and I am drugged up 2 to 3 hours. I am very slow, and I do not have as much energy. I have not walked since I took medicine. I have no desire to walk. On Amitriptyline, I am not me. I am someone else.

I stopped taking Amitriptyline to see what would happen three days ago. Today, I can read, write, and I read directions on how to set up an SUV Tent. I am sleeping six to eight hours getting up at six in the morning feeling alive and not drugged up. I want to walk, and I did walk this morning. I wrote three simple blogs about COVID-19, camping, and Amitriptyline. I am edgier but excited about life.  I am very enthusiastic about life. At the same time, all my symptoms have returned – falling backward, wobbling, neck hurting, closing eyes, overwhelmed, lost words, cannot express myself, and underattack at times where I can not think or concentrate. These attacks last a few minutes and go away. I am less able to control my filters and to contain myself. This is important to try to live with people and to be sociable.

I will have to decide. What kind of life do I want to live? What will be my quality of life? What type of relationships do I want to have since Amitirptyline makes a difference in my emotional temperament?

I am sharing this because I have realized that people go through so many things in their lives that you may never know or understand. How one drug can change your life for the better but make you into someone who you are not or who you may not want to be.

I want prayers to make the right decisions on how to pursue my life. My problems are not life-threatening or a death sentence—a considerable inconvenience to living life normally. Do I change my personality on the drug to eliminate my unusual symptoms or live the best I can with the symptoms and keep being me?

Leave me a prayer or give me some feedback.

Persecution

As I celebrate this Independence Day, I realize that the original colonies felt persecuted. Today, persecution exists in many manners and forms. No one has an exclusive right to claim persecution because it happens all over the world depending on who has the power. As Christians and United States citizens we have greater responsibility and accountability to address the injustices of our world. Happy Fourth of July! Remember how we got here and why!

Persecution

Persecution is hostility
Persecution is ill treatment
Persecution is unfair treatment
Persecution is abusive treatment
 
Any act of ill will
Can be persecution
Sometimes a bitter pill
No real solution
 
Majority or minority
Whatever color
No authority or absolute authority
Few dollars or bunch of dollars
 
Atheism or Christian
Does not matter
This is not fiction
Never ending chapter
 
People will hate
People will control
People will attack
People will kill
 
This is our story
Story of humanity
Journey of fury
And depravity
 
Christians are oppressed
In many ways
This is not a test
For it happens nowadays
 
Christians are called names
Christians are beaten
Christians are rejected
Christians are murdered
 
I live in the USA
Things are not like that here
Maybe not today
But listen and rehear
 
Bad News
2 Timothy 3:12  (ESV) 12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
1 John 3:13  (ESV) 13 Do not be surprised, brothers,[a] that the world hates you.
 
Good News
1 Peter 3:14  (ESV) 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,
Matthew 5:10 (ESV) 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 
But not in my United States
Not in my USA city
Not with my friends and mates
Not in my church committee
 
We are called by Christ
To be one body
Not cut and sliced
And not inferior or shoddy
 
One body as a whole
Caring for one another
Where I take a stroll
Or miles from my sister and brother
 
A Christian persecuted in Louisiana
A Christian persecuted in St Louis
A Christian persecuted in Facebook
A Christian persecuted in the World
 
All the same to our Lord
And it should be the same to us
We are on the same game board
Some castled in blissful snugness
 
Snugness from the action
Snugness from the abuses
Snugness from murderous fractions
Snugness from the bruises
 
The Bible is clear
We are part of the One
So shed a heartfelt tear
For our Savior the Son
 
Do not end now
Do not forget
Do not isolate
Do not think your set
 
Jesus wants us to love
He wants us to get along
Not be under the thumb of
Those strong and wrong
 
Many are harmed
Not just us Christian Saints
Remember the abused
And their complaints
 
Black lives of import
And they have a point
Not useless chatter
An ugly wart
 
Muslims matter too
China restricts their birth pace
This is more than a few
Millions lost without a trace
 
Women are left behind
Why does their paycheck lag
And the world is blind
Do you have to nag
 
Nagged to get your issues addressed
Nagged to listen and learn
Nagged to help and invest
Nagged to make it your turn
 
It is our turn to be accountable
To use our capabilities
To be countable
 
To end these hostilities
 
Christians have a call
To address conflicts
No matter how small
And no quick fix
 
God wants us to help
God wants us to intervene
God wants us to have compassion
God wants us to act
 
Act in many ways
Donate your time
Donate your money
Donate your prayers
 
God wants you to know
God loves everyone
Christians must acknowledge
We are under the same sun
 
Scriptures for One Body
Romans 12:4 (ESV) 4 For as in one body we have many members,[a] and the members do not all have the same function,
 
1 Corinthians 10:17(ESV) 17 Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.
 
1 Corinthians 12:12  (ESV) One Body with Many Members 12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.
1 Corinthians 12:13 (ESV) 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves[a] or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.
1 Corinthians 12:14 (ESV) 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many.
Ephesians 2:16  (ESV) 16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

When Do You Live

Human Being at 20 Weeks
When Do You Live
 
I do not know
When you live
You must tiptoe
The issue to survive
 
Survive abuse
Survive intolerance
Survive hatred
Survive injustice
 
Kill a baby
Whenever you want
Alive maybe
All so nonchalant
 
Womans rights are first
No exceptions
What can be worse
Than ignorant misconceptions
 
When does life begin
Christians believe at conception
Science has many spins
And fixed perceptions
 
Is life when DNA completes at 3 days
Is life when the heart beats at 24 days
Is life when brain waves are recorded at 43 days
Is life when a baby can live outside the womb at 140 days
 
Or is life when a woman decides
I can abort my unique child
And the world ultimately divides
The world goes crazy wild
 
One side says control my life
Damn human life
One side says save every life
Precious human life
 
Who is responsible for human health
Is it each 3.8 billion women on the globe
Or is it the elected commonwealth
Or some unelected justice in a black robe
 
Every human being is responsible for these losses
You can not hide behind a lack of knowledge
You can not hide behind your crosses
You must reasonably acknowledge
 
At 20 weeks it can live outside the womb
Start here and make the laws the same
Bring everyone who cares in the room
And quit the shame and blame game

Children of Man

Children of Man

Who is this man
Mortals of man
Mankind of man
People of man
 
Who is he
Who is she
Who is thee
Who is me
 
But children
Made in Gods image
And we are many million
In lifes scrimmage
 
People of color
People of race
People of religion
People of haste
 
Haste to blame one another
Haste to accuse one another
Haste to hate one another
Haste to destroy one another
 
Do we understand
Do we care
Do we walk hand in hand
Do we stand there
 
Stand there in dogma
Stand there in fairness
Stand there in belief
Stand there in bareness
 
Naked to face God
To seek His forgiveness
Knowing I am flawed
My sin of impulsiveness
 
Rushing about
Wanting it all
Waiting for a give out
Not waiting for the call
 
The call to accept
There is more to living
But I just slept
Instead of forgiving
 
Forgiving my self
Forgiving my family
Forgiving my friends
Forgiving my humanity
 
Is it too late
To be embraced
To enter the gate
And to taste
 
Taste the love
Taste the goodness
Taste the mercy
Taste the assurance
 
No it has not past
The final chance
So be quite fast
To enter the dance
 
Dance with Jesus
Dance with God
Dance with the Holy Spirit
Dance with Christs bride
 
The Bride of Christ
Gather in Christ
Body of Christ
The church is Christ
 
The church is your family
The church is your base
The church is no anomaly
The church is your place
 
Grow in the church
Disciple in the church
Serve in the church
Reconcile in the church
 
Not always pretty
Not always nice
What a pity
Take my advice
 
Better there
Then anywhere
A house of prayer
Jesus is near
 
Near to our hearts
Near to our thoughts
Near to our hurts
Near to our faults
 
Accept His presence
Accept His gift
Accept His peace
Accept His love
 
 
Notes
 
Proverbs 8:4 New International Version (NIV)
4 “To you, O people, I call out;
    I raise my voice to all mankind.
 
Proverbs 8:31 New International Version (NIV)
31 rejoicing in his whole world
    and delighting in mankind.
 
Proverbs 15:11 New International Version (NIV)
11 Death and Destruction[a] lie open before the Lord—
    how much more do human hearts!
 
Psalm 11:4 New International Version (NIV)
4 The Lord is in his holy temple;
    the Lord is on his heavenly throne.
He observes everyone on earth;
    his eyes examine them.
 
Psalm 12:8 New International Version (NIV)
8 who freely strut about
    when what is vile is honored by the human race.
 
Psalm 14:2 New International Version (NIV)
2 The Lord looks down from heaven
    on all mankind
to see if there are any who understand,
    any who seek God.
 
Psalm 21:10 New International Version (NIV)
10 You will destroy their descendants from the earth,
    their posterity from mankind.
 
Psalm 33:13 New International Version (NIV)
13 From heaven the Lord looks down
    and sees all mankind;
 
Psalm 53:2 New International Version (NIV)
2 God looks down from heaven
    on all mankind
to see if there are any who understand,
    any who seek God.
 
Psalm 57:4 New International Version (NIV)
4 I am in the midst of lions;
    I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts—
men whose teeth are spears and arrows,
    whose tongues are sharp swords.
 
Psalm 58[a]
For the director of music. To the tune of “Do Not Destroy.” Of David. A miktam.[b]
1 Do you rulers indeed speak justly?
    Do you judge people with equity?
 
Psalm 66:5 New International Version (NIV)
5 Come and see what God has done,
    his awesome deeds for mankind!
 
Psalm 89:47 New International Version (NIV)
47 Remember how fleeting is my life.
    For what futility you have created all humanity!
 
Psalm 90:3 New International Version (NIV)
3 You turn people back to dust,
    saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
 
Psalm 107:8 (4 times in Psalm 107)  New International Version (NIV)
8 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
 
Psalm 115:16 New International Version (NIV)
16 The highest heavens belong to the Lord,
    but the earth he has given to mankind.
 
Psalm 145:12 New International Version (NIV)
12 so that all people may know of your mighty acts
    and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
 
Ecclesiastes 1:13 New International Version (NIV)
13 I applied my mind to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under the heavens. What a heavy burden God has laid on mankind!
 
Ecclesiastes 2:3 New International Version (NIV)
3 I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was good for people to do under the heavens during the few days of their lives.
 
Ecclesiastes 3:10 New International Version (NIV)
10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.
 
Ecclesiastes 3:18 New International Version (NIV)
18 I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals.
 
Ecclesiastes 3:19 New International Version (NIV)
19 Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath[a]; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless.
 
Ecclesiastes 8:11 New International Version (NIV)
11 When the sentence for a crime is not quickly carried out, people’s hearts are filled with schemes to do wrong.
 
Ecclesiastes 9:3 New International Version (NIV)
3 This is the evil in everything that happens under the sun: The same destiny overtakes all. The hearts of people, moreover, are full of evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live, and afterward they join the dead.
 
Ecclesiastes 9:12 New International Version (NIV)
12 Moreover, no one knows when their hour will come:
As fish are caught in a cruel net,
    or birds are taken in a snare,
so people are trapped by evil times
    that fall unexpectedly upon them.
 
Jeremiah 32:19 New International Version (NIV)
19 great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Your eyes are open to the ways of all mankind; you reward each person according to their conduct and as their deeds deserve.
 
Ezekiel 31:14 New International Version (NIV)
14 Therefore no other trees by the waters are ever to tower proudly on high, lifting their tops above the thick foliage. No other trees so well-watered are ever to reach such a height; they are all destined for death, for the earth below, among mortals who go down to the realm of the dead.
 
Daniel 2:38 New International Version (NIV)
38 in your hands he has placed all mankind and the beasts of the field and the birds in the sky. Wherever they live, he has made you ruler over them all. You are that head of gold.
 
Daniel 10:16 New International Version (NIV)
16 Then one who looked like a man[a] touched my lips, and I opened my mouth and began to speak. I said to the one standing before me, “I am overcome with anguish because of the vision, my lord, and I feel very weak.
 
Joel 1:12 New International Version (NIV)
12 The vine is dried up
    and the fig tree is withered;
the pomegranate, the palm and the apple[a] tree—
    all the trees of the field—are dried up.
Surely the people’s joy
    is withered away.
 
Micah 5:7 New International Version (NIV)
7 The remnant of Jacob will be
    in the midst of many peoples
like dew from the Lord,
    like showers on the grass,
which do not wait for anyone
    or depend on man.
 
Mark 3:28 New International Version (NIV)
28 Truly I tell you, people can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter,