Conrad Birmingham

Slave

Slave

I am a slave
To my thoughts
Stuffed in a cave
I had my shots

Stuck here
Wasting away
Not a seer
Wishing to stray

I stayed for a girl
And her daughter
We had a twirl
Not living water

I stayed for my mother
Who is her golden years
Illnesses one after another
Outliving her peers


I stayed for my health
I fight craziness
No problems with wealth
Persistent haziness

A new phenomenon
Snuck up on me
A black swan
A dead sea

I can not inhale
I can not exercise
I can not exhale
I can not energize

Doctors do not know
What is the matter
Go with the flow
Endless chatter

Stuck in this place
Waiting it out
My time and space
I have doubt

Doubt of today
Doubt of relationship
Doubt of future
Doubt of fraternity
A slave to my existence
Waiting for it to end
I am leading the residence
Nothing to pretend

My relationship is over
My health is questionable
My mother will die
My life is debatable

Pretend I might
Fight I must
Chase the light
All in or bust

Fix what is wrong
Seek the solutions
Remain strong
Proclaim resolutions

Resolution to try
Resolutions to strive
Resolution to fly
Resolution to live

Might change your expectations
Might change your attitude
Might rearrange your foundation
Might rearrange your fortitude

It is not finished
It never will be
It is not diminished
It is what you see

See the good
See the opportunities
See your livelihood
See your communities

There is a view
For you to move ahead
It is up to you
You are not dead

I am consolidating my notes and pictures into a travel book to Europe. I visited Europe two years ago and I took the train around Europe for twenty-six days. I traveled to eleven countries and visited 22 cities – London, Brussels, Antwerp, Amsterdam, Berlin, Wittenberg, Zurich, Budapest, Warsaw, Vienna, Milan, Paris, Venice, Florence, Rome, Bari, Thessaloniki, Athens, Corinth, Barcelona, Madrid, and New York.

Excert from Book

“Now the tricky part, I had studied how to perform this maneuver, and I knew it would be confusing and chaotic. Yes, it was all that and more. I was a little punch drunk from the long trip, so it was hard to get my bearings. I am glad that I downloaded the Citymapper for my android phone. Once I got on the train, I could sit down and open the app, and study on it. I knew where I was going, but it gave me a little more comfort.

I made it to Tower Bridge station and transferred to the District line to get to Notting Hill. Notting Hill was the location that I had picked out for my stay. Everyone remembers the movie Notting Hill and the warm, good vibes it gave you. I understand it is a movie, and it was planned and acted out to perfection. Everything turns out rosy pink in the end, and is that not what we want for our lives. I think so.”

Full London Journal to Read

Understand

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Understand

I do not understand
How you can live
Living so bland
When we strive

Strive to play
Strive to laugh
Strive to excite
Strive to life

I know you
And you know me
I am not looking for a coup
Live to be free

Free to enjoy each other
Free to come and go
Free to smother
Free to flow

Smother you with love
Smother you with kindness
Smother you not shove
Smother your blindness

Blindness to my strengths
Blindness to my virtues
Blindness to my talents
Blindness to my advantages

Not here to take
Or to divide
Not here to break
Or to pick sides

To compliment
To help
To serve
To encourage

Put on the brakes
But who knows
What are the stakes
And we froze

Too serious
Leave mom and dad
How mysterious
I must be bad

Yes, violent
Yes, arrogant
Yes, a giant child
Yes, a loud oaf

All are true
We all have faults
Nothing new
Not always a waltz

How do you see it
And how it is portrayed
A story to knit
A complicated braid

My story is mine
And I know my heart
I have a shine
For a girl who is smart

She is splendid
And kind
Not easily offended
Has her own mind

She is a nurturer
She is funny
She is an adventurer
She is sunny

Hard to lose
A real treasure
Can cause the blues
And all the pleasure

It is so
She has chosen
Sent me the memo
We are frozen

Time sits still
Between her and more
A long climb up the hill
To the next open door

But remember this
The ride down
Will find bliss
I will lose my frown

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I am Back on Social Media

Need to Promote My Writing

I have started writing again. I am no longer on my medicine, and I have written a second book of poetry.

https://amzn.to/3kPQZL4

I hope you enjoy my poems. Here is one I wrote the other day:

I Do Not Know

I do not know
I do not understand
I do not accept the status quo
I do not make demands

Lost and alone
Lost and needy
Lost in groans
Very greedy

Selfish
Hurtful
Jealous
Ungrateful

I search
I chase
In church
In your face

I am not fair
I am not emphatic
Not that I do not care
Not to cause static

My every intention
Is to be loved
Not an intervention
Or to be shoved

But in goodwill
Honest and true
Neither a windmill
Nor a zoo

Help me Lord
Settle down
Not with a sword
Or to shutdown

Honest retrospect
Heartfelt transmission
Giving respect
Honest admission

Of my faults
Of my weaknesses
Of my assaults
To my Jesus

Let me bow
Let me repent
Worship thou
End my torment

Restore my heart
According to your will
I need a fresh start
Make my path downhill

Easy to travel
Easy to see
Less prone to unravel
With a skeleton key

Unlock the doors
Make my way
On all fours
So I can pray

Heavenly Father
Forgive me
Bless my sister
Hear my plea

Hear
In Jesus name
My sins disappear
Without shame

I am new
Today everyday
No blame
Without decay

Holy Spirit
Filled
Explicit
Old life killed

Written by: Conrad Birmingham

Brutal Endeavor

 Must stop
 No reason to proceed
 Our relationship a flop
 So easy to read
  
 The signs were there
 I did not see
 Not a nightmare
 We did not agree
  
 Agree on life
 How much time
 Husband and wife
 We did not rhyme
  
 Too many factions
 Ruling our existence
 Always reactions
 And harmful resistance
  
 You and me
 We were fine
 Full of joy and glee
 No reason to whine
  
 We could not breakout
 From the smothering
 No reason to pout
 Too much mothering
  
 All will be good
 We can move on
 I am not a kid
 Or a worthless pawn
  
 You will be in my heart
 Forever and ever
 Hate this part
 A brutal endeavor