No more mind drug
No more captivity
No more a slug
No more inactivity
I can think and write
There are ideas and activity
My mind is clear and bright
I have vision and creativity
What satisfaction
A few words in print
My words have interaction
Now I am on a sprint
Create a poem every day
For long as it lasts
And a long time I pray
But there are no hard forecasts
Maybe restart my novel
It is all in my head
I will not fall apart and grovel
Just forge ahead
I am optimistic about my ability
I know what I want to generate
I have so many possibilities
I have to accept my fate
Just create a rhyme
And let them grow
Let the words climb
Creating a sweet flow
I do not know who you are
You talk three hours through a screen
We did debate and spar
Not ugly or mean
We played with each other
And talked and talked
We enjoyed one another
Our emotions not locked
But what happened that very day
You did not respond or communicate
You replied with nothing to say
Causing me much frustration
You sent a positive message
You missed me as a companion
I thought we had a shot
My plight was not a deep canyon
I raced to see you
To talk to you in person
So much hope to renew
Only to worsen
You would not see me
You would not talk
Address my plea
What a shock
You did not want to come out
And tell me your troubles
And what this was about
My apprehension doubles
Why did you call the night before
Why did we flirt and play
Why did you spend 3 hours on the phone
Why did you act like the good old days
But I learned reality
You came outside
And said you were free
And your position was clarified
You did not see us long term
You did not want to lead me on
You were very definite and firm
You did not want me as a pawn
It was hard for me to listen
I was denied and rejected
Your tears did glisten
I pleaded and objected
Holding you tight
You were so frail
It was the end of the night
And I took flight
As I drove away
I realized so much
And knew it his way
Our life would be dutch
No more togetherness
No more reliance
No more dependence
No more shared memories
Two lives afloat
In our own little ships
Circling in a moat
On our own trips
The next day I realized
We are good friends
My memories prized
And I wanted to make amends
We can be pals and mates
Open to conversation
Definitely no romantic dates
And no long term relations
We can be kind
And we can be heartfelt
All a matter of the mind
And the cards we are dealt
Friends for life
What does that mean
Not husband and wife
A future unseen
I remember
When I was younger
I was a member
And did not hunger
I was strong
I was healthy and fit
I sang a happy song
I had my wit
I did not worry
For my health
I was in a hurry
To make my wealth
This was my affiliation
Make money and win
Part of a capitalistic nation
But this was a sin
To chase money
Forgetting the rest
It was not sunny
Much distress
I wanted it all
But pursuing wealth
Created a great brawl
Lurking with stealth
Destroyed relations
Forgotten friends
Missed donations
Not making amends
Strained relationships
Desensitized to everyone
Emotionless trip
Kindness and empathy none
Emotions scattered
Health in ruin
Definitely battered
Ready to be done in
Life falls apart
Little by little
Leading to a bad heart
So brittle
But I am an associate
Paying taxes and voting
A member of our capitalist state
But I am not gloating
I forgot the truth
I forgot the guidelines
I forgot the nursery rhymes
I forgot the wisdom books
A wealth of knowledge
I learned long ago
I must acknowledge
I did know
Charity
Forgiveness
Compassion
Moderation
Why did I not
Live a life
That I was taught
Without conflict and strife
Was I needy
Was I selfish
Was I greedy
Was I foolish
Yes
I can agree
I made a mess
I was privileged and free
Why did I need more
Why could I not be happy
Why did I war
Why was I snappy
Who cares
All that is gone
Drop your airs
Today is a new dawn
Life is here
And kind
Listen and hear
Open your mind
To another earth
One of jubilation
Allowing a rebirth
Out of damnation
To a life of fraternity
Remembering community
Now and for eternity
My new opportunity
Time spent
Time lost
Time went
Time tossed
She was the one
I could love
She was the sun
I write of
Beautiful
Funny
Intelligent
Nurturing
Just as in a day
The sun sets
Everything turns gray
Blackness forgets
The warmth
The laughs
The smiles
The togetherness
You lose your way
You forget the daylight
You wander astray
You take flight
Fly away
Hide away
Stay away
Run away
Less stress
To run and hide
Less mess
Easier on my pride
I am not wrong
I am not mistaken
I am not amiss
I am not wrongheaded
I was slighted
I was insulted
I was uninvited
I was not consulted
Was it necessary
Was it essential
Was it contrary
Was it sequential
No
Not at all
To go toe to toe
And to hit a wall
Now in darkness
Stumbling about
Nothing but starkness
No way out
I am alone
With my thoughts
And a slight moan
My stomach in knots
I will wander
Seeking reality
I will ponder
What is the key
The key to fellowship
The key to friendship
The key to relationship
The key to life
Almost complete
Running out of time
Cannot cheat
Not in my prime
Stumble along
While everyone is asleep
Try to be strong
Do not weep
Understand
After every night
Sun comes to the land
So struggle and fight
Say hello
Wear a smile
Do not judge others
Just love and accept
I do not know
Does it really matter
The ongoing show
Life and dreams in tatter
My brain goes dead
My eyes are hurt by sunlight
My sudden falls I dread
My words are not right
A rare disease
A common anxiety
Just please please
Not so much variety
Give me a concern
Give me a fight
Give me a turn
Give me the right
Right to control
Right to fix
Right to be whole
Right to end the conflicts
Conflicts of doubt
Conflicts of pain
Conflicts to act out
Conflicts of strain
I am tired
What is worse
A life expired
Or alone in the universe
I am not afraid to die
Jesus is there
It is not a lie
In the Lord’s care
I afraid to be alone
It is stressful
A great unknown
Very distressful
Why why why
Can I not be content
I want to cry
A great torment
Tormented by what
No human touch
Not clear cut
Or just too much
Do I smother
Do I overwhelm
One after another
Making it my realm
Drive people away
Make them afraid
To share and play
My torments are homemade
I cannot understand
A balanced life together
I demand and demand
All to be hooked by a tether
Can I change
Find a way
To rearrange
My greatest dismay
Confined in solitary
I have friends
We can be merry
But that where it ends
No one to dance
No companionship
No romance
No courtship
I have tried
I have bailed
I have cried
I have failed
It is my fate
To go one more time
Is it too late
To make my life rhyme
Be told
Be courageous
Be bold
It is advantageous
