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Category: Love

Persecution

As I celebrate this Independence Day, I realize that the original colonies felt persecuted. Today, persecution exists in many manners and forms. No one has an exclusive right to claim persecution because it happens all over the world depending on who has the power. As Christians and United States citizens we have greater responsibility and accountability to address the injustices of our world. Happy Fourth of July! Remember how we got here and why!

Persecution

Persecution is hostility
Persecution is ill treatment
Persecution is unfair treatment
Persecution is abusive treatment
 
Any act of ill will
Can be persecution
Sometimes a bitter pill
No real solution
 
Majority or minority
Whatever color
No authority or absolute authority
Few dollars or bunch of dollars
 
Atheism or Christian
Does not matter
This is not fiction
Never ending chapter
 
People will hate
People will control
People will attack
People will kill
 
This is our story
Story of humanity
Journey of fury
And depravity
 
Christians are oppressed
In many ways
This is not a test
For it happens nowadays
 
Christians are called names
Christians are beaten
Christians are rejected
Christians are murdered
 
I live in the USA
Things are not like that here
Maybe not today
But listen and rehear
 
Bad News
2 Timothy 3:12  (ESV) 12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
1 John 3:13  (ESV) 13 Do not be surprised, brothers,[a] that the world hates you.
 
Good News
1 Peter 3:14  (ESV) 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,
Matthew 5:10 (ESV) 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 
But not in my United States
Not in my USA city
Not with my friends and mates
Not in my church committee
 
We are called by Christ
To be one body
Not cut and sliced
And not inferior or shoddy
 
One body as a whole
Caring for one another
Where I take a stroll
Or miles from my sister and brother
 
A Christian persecuted in Louisiana
A Christian persecuted in St Louis
A Christian persecuted in Facebook
A Christian persecuted in the World
 
All the same to our Lord
And it should be the same to us
We are on the same game board
Some castled in blissful snugness
 
Snugness from the action
Snugness from the abuses
Snugness from murderous fractions
Snugness from the bruises
 
The Bible is clear
We are part of the One
So shed a heartfelt tear
For our Savior the Son
 
Do not end now
Do not forget
Do not isolate
Do not think your set
 
Jesus wants us to love
He wants us to get along
Not be under the thumb of
Those strong and wrong
 
Many are harmed
Not just us Christian Saints
Remember the abused
And their complaints
 
Black lives of import
And they have a point
Not useless chatter
An ugly wart
 
Muslims matter too
China restricts their birth pace
This is more than a few
Millions lost without a trace
 
Women are left behind
Why does their paycheck lag
And the world is blind
Do you have to nag
 
Nagged to get your issues addressed
Nagged to listen and learn
Nagged to help and invest
Nagged to make it your turn
 
It is our turn to be accountable
To use our capabilities
To be countable
 
To end these hostilities
 
Christians have a call
To address conflicts
No matter how small
And no quick fix
 
God wants us to help
God wants us to intervene
God wants us to have compassion
God wants us to act
 
Act in many ways
Donate your time
Donate your money
Donate your prayers
 
God wants you to know
God loves everyone
Christians must acknowledge
We are under the same sun
 
Scriptures for One Body
Romans 12:4 (ESV) 4 For as in one body we have many members,[a] and the members do not all have the same function,
 
1 Corinthians 10:17(ESV) 17 Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.
 
1 Corinthians 12:12  (ESV) One Body with Many Members 12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.
1 Corinthians 12:13 (ESV) 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves[a] or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.
1 Corinthians 12:14 (ESV) 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many.
Ephesians 2:16  (ESV) 16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

When Do You Live

Human Being at 20 Weeks
When Do You Live
 
I do not know
When you live
You must tiptoe
The issue to survive
 
Survive abuse
Survive intolerance
Survive hatred
Survive injustice
 
Kill a baby
Whenever you want
Alive maybe
All so nonchalant
 
Womans rights are first
No exceptions
What can be worse
Than ignorant misconceptions
 
When does life begin
Christians believe at conception
Science has many spins
And fixed perceptions
 
Is life when DNA completes at 3 days
Is life when the heart beats at 24 days
Is life when brain waves are recorded at 43 days
Is life when a baby can live outside the womb at 140 days
 
Or is life when a woman decides
I can abort my unique child
And the world ultimately divides
The world goes crazy wild
 
One side says control my life
Damn human life
One side says save every life
Precious human life
 
Who is responsible for human health
Is it each 3.8 billion women on the globe
Or is it the elected commonwealth
Or some unelected justice in a black robe
 
Every human being is responsible for these losses
You can not hide behind a lack of knowledge
You can not hide behind your crosses
You must reasonably acknowledge
 
At 20 weeks it can live outside the womb
Start here and make the laws the same
Bring everyone who cares in the room
And quit the shame and blame game

Smart Girl

Smart Girl has improved my life three times in the past two years. I am grateful for her help by reducing my anxiety, solving my leg pain issues, and identifying a possible explanation for my ongoing illness.

I recognize Smart Girl (Cynthia), and her daughter pulled me out of the pit of despair, allowing me to see there is hope, and there is a great deal of life to experience. They encouraged me to keep my journey going and do not give up. Cynthia and Elizabeth (EB) are the best friends anyone can ever possess. We experienced life together traveling many places, building sandcastles, attending an Arkansas football game, watching movies and cartoons, playing chess, building Legos, reading books, doing homework, eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, walking Sweetie Pie, taking and picking EB up to school and playing all types of sports including swimming, catching the ball, throwing the ball, swinging the bat, striking golf balls, shooting basketballs, rolling bowling balls, throwing darts, bicycling, walking, and laser tag. We had a great time, and I never thought I would experience life like that again. Thank you.

Smart Girl worked for Patterson Physical Therapy, and she identified and correcting the problems with my right leg. I went from constant step by step pain every minute of the day. My pain varied from hardly any pain to pain all the time. Patterson Physical Therapy identified my hip to heel ratio was out ten percent, and I was walking sideways. A few shoe inserts and I had instant pain relief. I want to thank them for solving the problem when many doctors, physical therapists, and chiropractors could not over five years. When you are not in constant pain, you can enjoy life, and you can experience it so much more.

In June 2020, Smart Girl presented Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) as a potential identification of my ongoing illness. No one has diagnosed me with this disorder, but it is a better option than PSP. When I read the information that she sent me, it described me perfectly. I did a blog about FNA.

I wrote this poem over a year ago, and it is in my book. I think very highly of Smart Girl, and I am publishing what she has done for me in my blog. I appreciate her dedication to my health. Thank you.

Smart Girl
 
I recognized your smart
And very astute
It grabbed my heart
And I started the pursuit
 
You are very pretty
So adorable
Witty
Certainly not ignorable
 
Your appearance is striking
Blue eyes mesmerizing
Gazing at you and never tiring
So so energizing
 
I did not know what to expect
Wondering if I could ask
Could we connect
It would be a mighty task
 
You have a daughter
Live with your parents
We are moving through white water
But you are not embarrassed
 
You do not text
Are very independent
What comes next
Certainly not dependence
 
A single mother
Living life  
Facing challenges one after another
Needing a Swiss army knife
 
Sometimes overwhelmed
Sometimes quite well
Certainly compelled
Not to walk on eggshells
 
What do I see
What do I believe
Do not disagree
Or deceive
 
Celebrate she is special
Celebrate her resolve
Give her a medal
Watch her evolve
 
You are unique
A mystery
A good deal of mystique
But you have lived a real life history
 
So many illnesses
So many miseries
So many sicknesses
So many memories
 
It makes me seek you more
You are so strong
It could be a love affair
But more two friends traveling along
 
I like you
You are so fresh
How do I pursue
So we mesh
 
Patience is good
Do not smother
Wait, in all likelihood
We will find each other
 
Friends
Buddies
Our relationship will pay dividends
It will be very sunny
 
A warming experience
Soothing to our bones
Reducing the weariness
Eliminating the groans
 
It makes me smile
It makes me laugh
Worthwhile
I cannot wait for the next paragraph

Functional Neurological Disorder

Functional Neurological Disorder or Conversion Disorder

I have battled a health issue for six years with no diagnosis, just endless symptoms, and doctor visits. The symptoms are debilitating, but the worse part is they come and go like the wind. One minute I feel good and the next minute I feel awful. One-minute functioning and the next minute dysfunctioning. I minute normal and the next abnormal.

The doctor visits were intense. I saw over 45 doctors in the past six years.  The doctors would talk to you and do all types of tests – brain tests, MRI’s, MRA”s inner ear tests, heart, lungs, knee and hip specialist, blood clot specialist, blood pressure, toxicology, EEG’s, EMG’s, anxiety exams, depression exams, etc. The doctors were from the best medical centers in the world – Mayo Clinic and Vanderbilt. They did not find anything wrong with me except anxiety and depression. All you need is a pill, and you will be better. The best line from the doctors was just wait until it manifests itself. Really, I am trying to live!

Of course, I am going to be anxious and depressed. Duh! I am falling backwards thousands of times and bless the Lord that I have hit the ground only ten times. I lose words, and I can not say what is on my mind. The sunlight shuts me down, making me retreat into myself. I close my eyes, and I cannot function.  I fall left to right wobbling. These are daily occurrences.  There are so many other symptoms that happen sporadically. I find it amusing the funny situations that I have experienced in the past six years.

For two years, the only disease that was close to my symptoms was Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP). This is an undiagnosed disease that eats away at you until you die. No one says you have it until the end when you cannot walk, talk, or eat. They autopsy you to see your tau proteins bunched up on your brain. Yes, you had PSP. Wow! How nice! My adamant supporter, Smart Girl did not think I had it because I was not getting weaker physically, and I did not have a Parkinsonian look, which is present in PSP. When this is the only disease that fits all your symptoms, it is hard not to latch on to this disease. Gosh, I want to put a name to it. I want to know what is wrong with me. I want to be in control. Control of what? PSP is a killer. PSP is an ugly death. PSP is not merciful. PSP is painful. PSP is torture.

Last week (June 2020), my adamant supporter or I call her Smart Girl located Functional Neurological Disorder. What is that? I have never heard of that disorder. I do not remember any doctor, including many neurologists, mention it to me. They never even suggested it was a possibility.

What is Functional Neurological Disorder?

Functional neurological disorder (FND) is a medical condition in which there is a problem with the functioning of the nervous system and how the brain and body sends and/or receives signals, rather than a structural disease process such as multiple sclerosis or stroke.

Functional Neurological Disorder

What are the symptoms?

FND patients can experience a wide range and combination of symptoms that are physical, sensory and/or cognitive. The most common include:

Motor dysfunction
• Functional limb weakness/paralysis
• Functional movement disorders; including tremor, spasms (dystonia), jerky movements (myoclonus) and problems walking (gait disorder)
• Functional speech symptoms; including whispering speech (dysphonia), slurred or stuttering speech

Sensory dysfunction
• Functional sensory disturbance includes altered sensation; e.g. numbness, tingling or pain in the face, torso or limbs. This often occurs on one side of the body
• Functional visual symptoms; including loss of vision or double vision

Episodes of altered awareness
• Dissociative (non-epileptic) seizures, blackouts and faints: these symptoms can overlap and can look like epileptic seizures or faints (syncope)

Symptoms often fluctuate and may vary from day to day or be present all the time. Some patients with FND may experience substantial or even complete remission followed by sudden relapses of symptoms.

Other physical and psychological symptoms are commonly experienced by patients with FND but may not be present. These include: chronic pains, fatigue, sleep problems, memory symptoms, bowel and bladder symptoms, anxiety and depression.

Functional Neurological Disorder

Yes, I have many of those symptoms, and they come and go. Is this a real disorder or just a junk drawer for people who are messed up, but there is no diagnosis for me yet? I do not care. I rather think I have FND (live) versus PSP (die).

Is there a treatment?

Yes, I have new doctors to see and new treatments to try – CBT and ACT. I must be more self-aware of what triggers my symptoms. I must learn techniques to reset myself once symptoms start. My favorite is when I cannot pronounce words or get them out of my mouth then sing a song. I sing “Everyday with Jesus,” and then I can pronounce the word or get it out of my mouth. How wonderful is that! In one week, we have found one reset. How exciting. Now, I am looking for triggers to stop symptoms before they happen and for reset techniques to get me back to normal as soon as possible.

Praise

I praise God for the blessing in my life. In the past two weeks, God put Smart Girl in my life. She found this disorder, she made me aware of the disorder, and she helped me with the first symptom reset. Two, the Lord gave me hope and endurance. The Lord gave me the will to enjoy each day and to live. Thank you, God!

Battle of Nerves vs Mental

Battle of Nerves vs Mental
 
What to do next
I wander about
I am perplexed
I want to shout
 
Leave me alone
Let me be
I want to moan
But then there is she
 
She is Smart Girl
She will not let me quit
She is a rare precious pearl
She has much grit
 
You are fine
You are curable
Quit your whine
You are endurable
 
Your lungs sing a song
Your heart is exceptionally good
Your muscles are strong
You are a forest of maple wood
 
You fall and almost fall
You have bouts and seasons
Where you hit a wall
Without any reasons
 
No one has diagnosed you
Telling you anything
No reason to worry and stew
Anxiety and depression sting
 
Worse than your illness
Quit being an awful bore
Live each day in its brilliance
Open the morning door and roar
 
Life is noble and grand
Life is pleasing and sweet
Life is unexplored land
Life is a delicious treat
 
Smart Girl wants to pursue
Conversion disorder and
Functional neurological disorder
Which is fine with me
 
The brain and nervous mechanisms
Do not efficiently communicate
Resulting in many schisms
In my neurological state
 
Somewhere between nerves and mental
Everyone knows I am crazy
But let us not be judgmental
We all can be a little hazy
 
Good news I believe
Continue the medical journey
Looking for reprieve
After six years of a debilitating tourney
 
What is a year or two more
Smart Girl motivates me
To continue the unfair war
And I agree