I am not sure or know If I will waste away and die Every day go with the flow Daily just soar and fly Fly like a bird Enjoy the ride Move ever forward Take life in stride Stride day by day One day at a time Merriment and play A life that will rhyme Rhyme requires two Words that go together Why can it not be you To get me through bad weather I know I know another place And another time it is not right But I want to see your face Side by side through this fight A companion buddy sidekick Who enjoys the journey And we are familiar and klick Through many tourneys We are familiar We are comfortable We are known We are snug Yes it can be hard I can be frustrated Leaving you scarred With words I have stated But you are not perfect Ignoring and hurting me Increasing the conflict But let us agree to disagree All the naming and blaming Is a waste of energy and strength I am proclaiming and exclaiming I will go through any length To apologize and to repent I am so so sad Because it is not my hearts intent To be so mean and bad You may not trust me And want me back It is your choice to be free If there was a tiny crack Where we could amend Our life dreams My best friend I wish it is our theme A theme of love A theme of us A theme of care A theme of respect All of the good things Life demands As we soar on our wings Over the badlands We fly in unity Twisting and turning Searching for opportunities For our lifes yearnings Soaring higher and higher Flying unrestricted and liberated I hear the angels choir Beautiful and orchestrated Enjoy the glorious songs On journeys we navigate Easing and erasing our wrongs From our first to our last date
Category: Birmingham
Feel
Feel What does a baby feel In the womb or newborn Joy and pain are real The debate is torn Torn between alive or what A newborn is alive There is no but It can live and strive What about a fetus In the womb Do you have a treatise Or do you leave the room No regard for science It is living Against your defiance Answers are missing When does the heartbeat Not months but weeks Six weeks like a drumbeat The heart speaks When the heart stops We are declared dead The blood flow drops And life has fled If you are born You are alive with heartbeats But not if you are unborn Who cares if it repeats Then comes your nervous process Developing soon after the heart starts Reflexes begin to progress And pain is its counterpart Yes pain is present In the womb Many will dissent But it is not your gloom or doom Babies move away from the intruder Babies shrink from the abortions tools Babies jerk from the pursuer Babies not understanding the rules How about brain waves The fetus starts around forty days We are on our way to our graves If our brains are not ablaze What is life A heartbeat A nervous system A brain wave I want all three Many will disagree But they are free To argue with me
Sailing the Lee
Sailing the Lee I have sailed Along the lee shore Sometimes jailed A situation not to ignore I cannot escape The wind pushing me hard Unable to make my sail shape Act quick or my boat scarred Wrecked upon the rocks Wrecked upon the reef Wrecked upon the shoal Wrecked upon the beach Why keep the boat Why not swim away Why not jump and float Why not go your way I hate to leave my vessel A good looking ship Easy to sail and wrestle Wrestle and ride on a trip Or wasting my life Hoping to reach or tack To a safe point with no strife With wind to my back But where is the fun Where is the excitement A blast compared to none Enticement and incitement Close hauled along the edge Water breaking over the bow I have not hedged or pledged To give up and quit now Flying through the water The boat lifted high There is a breakwater Safety is nearby But why oh why Do I reduce sail Or tack and glide by Using the gale I will miss the challenge I will miss my love I will miss the satisfaction I will miss the gratification There is nothing like her There is nothing to compare There are emotions to stir There are moments to share I plan to sail on Catching the wind Until the emotion is gone Or just left behind Behind in the docks Or on its trailer Or sitting on blocks Missing its sailor
Family
Family Do you enjoy Your family Or is it a ploy Or an anomaly A ploy to get money A ploy to get affection A ploy to be funny A ploy for connection A connection to what A connection to who A connection in my gut A connection made of glue Join us together Fasten us to each other A common tether Mother or brother Is this common Is this normal Is this unusual Is this irregular No it is not For many to live Relatives not forgot Families to thrive What is the common thread Families to proceed Is it the homestead Or blood of a family creed A creed to love A creed to support A creed to encourage A creed to equally share Generation to generation Forgive one another Give for the duration Smother and smother Smother with love Smother with kindness Smother with resources Smother with mercy Mercy is the hardest When we feel wronged But we can harness By remembering we belonged Belonged to a family line Belonged to a congregation Belonged to the vine Belonged to a narration A narration to work together A narration to read A narration to learn A narration to believe Believe in God Believe in kin Believe all are flawed Believe we all sin Sin is there Every single day Repent with prayer Believe and pray God is first Family second Our nation third And there is no fourth Align on one Read the one Learn the one Worship the one Forgive those in two Love those in two Show mercy to those in two Share with those in two Honor those in three Respect those in three Support those in three Affirm those in three Teach yours these Time and time again These are the keys Our family will remain
Tools to Help me Live
I have struggled for years, and I have searched for tools to help me live better. I want tools to help me learn what triggers my symptoms and how to reset the triggers as quickly as possible.
I have had ongoing issues for years, and no physical defects can be found beyond repaired damage to knee and hips along with blood clots. I have fallen backward; my neck hurts, my head hurts, my eyes get stressed, my head goes blank, my body wobbles, and many other little nuisances. No one has given me solutions to these issues except to drug me up and to make me into a zombie. I don’t particularly appreciate living this way. If anything, this lifestyle drives anxiety and depression, which activates, compounds, and exaggerated my issues.
The diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) opens new avenues to explore, including Cognitive behavior Theory and Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I am exploring these two tools, and I am seeking counselors to help me learn these tools and to apply them to my life.
Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is based on several core principles, including:
1. Psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking.
2. Psychological problems are based, in part, on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior.
3. People suffering from psychological problems can learn better ways of coping with them, thereby relieving their symptoms and becoming more effective in their lives.
https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral#
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Its main goals are to teach people how to live in the moment, develop healthy ways to cope with stress, regulate their emotions, and improve their relationships with others.
https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402#citation-1
The Linehan Institute Behavioral Tech. What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? 2017.
I plan to write more about my journey, trying to understand these tools and how they are working to make my life better. I will add posts about other tools that I use to help, including breathing exercises, writing, exercising, and yoga—also, a post here and there about God and his provision for me. These tools and exercises do not compete with God. To me, they are the fruit of God’s existence.
I hope they may help you if you have sprouts of anxiety or depression.
Have any of you had any experiences with CBT or DBT? Did it help?